Things change and so do dreams

Ever since I got back from my Ayahuasca trip my mind and body have been in movement. I’ve been more in touch with what my body wants and how it works, when there is tension and how I feel. My mind has been asking me a lot of questions and I have been thinking a lot about my life and how I want it to be. There’s been emotion ups and downs and I guess that’s normal, but sometimes I analyse too much about what’s going on and what I think I should do or how other people might think about how I live my life. I’ve learned that the way I cope with things and can get some perspective is to write it down so here it goes.

I’m tired off feeling like I have to explain why I do the things I do or don’t do things that others might expect me to do. Mainly I’m tired of trying to explain all this crap to myself and doubting myself. And thinking about what others might think about how I live my life. What do I want my life to become? I am not sure, not in the big scheme that is. I know what I want from life, but I don’t have big dreams. That’s probably what might bother me most is that I feel like I have to create this huge life for myself. I don’t know where that comes from, but I also sorta know I don’t have to create that even though my mind tricks me into believing that sometimes.

Even when writing these blogs I think about what others might think, if I hurt people by sharing my thoughts and feelings or how others might change their opinion about me. I have to remind myself that if I speak my truth I can’t hurt anybody, cause this is me and what’s going on in my head and heart. If people’s opinion me change for the better that’s fine, if they don’t and change for the worst that’s totally fine too, cause once again it ain’t about them, it’s about me. This is me and you either accept it or you don’t.

I’ve listened and watched a lot of interviews with an incredible actor and he believes that if you really, for 100%, know what you want and are passionate about it that the universe will show you the way. Without you needing to know what to do, the path will show itself.
That’s what I believe in too. The only thing is, is that I am not sure about what it is that I really want. I also know life is about the flow of it and thinking too much can ruin it and having fun is important, I just think I somehow lost that…. I want to go back to doing fun things and just be. Trying to live in the moment is something I started to do a while back and at the times I’m completely in the moment it’s amazing and that gives me so much ease and peace. It takes practice to set those intentions and that is something I have to let go off. The constant need to be in control and to want to do things instantly without them taking time.

Ever since I’ve was little I knew I wanted to move to the US to live there. Last year on my trip to Austin I had this realization that I don’t have to move to be happy. That I can live wherever I want and as long as I am me, and I like being me, it don’t matter where I live. The last 10 years whenever I’ve been on a vacation it was either the US or the UK and basically my vacation was visiting my friends who are my family. As I’m sitting here in Austin on this vacation I feel like this US period might come to an end. I love the family I’ve created that is scattered all over the US and I do love to hang out with them but I think it’s time to get in another direction with my vacations.

I love that wherever I go feels like home, cause that means I’m surrounded by good people and am content with myself and my surroundings. And as much as I enjoy being here now and it feels like home, it’s exactly that, it feels like home. Like things I need to do, I have to take care of the cat and the cars. And that’s okay cause that’s what the arrangement is, but still. Today I was thinking that I miss camping or just being in a beach house somewhere just to be, without having to do anything. I felt a bit sad thinking about this cause if I’m not coming over to the US I won’t be able to see and hang out with all these incredible people anymore. But even though I won’t be able to spend this time with them that don’t mean our connection will be lost. Maybe the part of me what knows how hard it is for them to come over and stay with me that that’s the reason I come over and spend time with them and whenever I come here I try to see as many people as I can. And until now that has been good for me, but it’s time for something new and different. I think it’s time for me to let go of my need to always come over here and have to see all these people.

Now I feel like taking that time off and just go wherever. Not necessarily the US but just to have time for myself. That’s not to say I won’t travel back to the US, cause I probably will and a bunch of times, but it means I’m going to take time for myself and what I feel like I need to do or want to do and not having that constant pull of “I need to see this or that person cause I haven’t seen them in so long”.

As hard this is for me to realize I think this is what I need to do. I set the intention during my Ayahuasca journey to let go of control and I’ve spend so much time controlling all the US adventures that I haven’t had space for other incredible things that I could invest my time and energy in.

I’m excited to see what space I’ve opened up by realizing this and what comes next. For now I’m going to enjoy the next 16 days in Austin and later this year an incredible wedding in Arizona. After that I’m going to figure out what’s going to be next in regards to traveling.

Problem solving through NLP and Sensi

There’s two types of therapies that can change your train of thought, the way you think, that I recently discovered. There are probably a lot more but these two are pretty interesting. I love the way they work, it’s kind of magic 😀

So let me explain the two different techniques, which some people say are therapies. Depending on your definition of therapy, these two aren’t psychology therapies, but they are help full and will change your mind, for some curious reason.

NLP = Neural Linguistic Programming. If you’re having trouble with something in your live, the way you think about it and if you want to change the way you think about that you can schedule an appointment. After that appointment your train of thought is changed. First you picture the problem and after that you create the way you want to act (direct your own film about the situation exactly how you want it, the sound/ colors/ smell etcetera). You will picture the outcome before you and if you got that you’ll repeat it faster and faster until it goes to fast. At that point the programmer will put an anchor on your body, hand, face, which ever you prefer or is a good place for you. When the program is done you’ll notice the difference right away. Also when you get to that specific situation, or a similar, you just press that anchor and the good feeling comes up and you won’t make an issue about it any more. I swear this works, which is pretty awesome!

Sensi therapy uses the meridian structure of the body to find blockages in feelings. Each meridian is connected with an organ. Depending on which meridian hurts they can tell what the feeling is that is blocked. The therapist will massage that spot and after that the pain must be less than it was. These pains can contain old feelings which are still in the body. Even if you don’t feel like that anymore, you can still have rest feelings in your body. This also works like magic 😉
Next to the sensi these therapists can use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which is a bit like NLP. It’s a different technique, cause they will press different parts of your hand and face in a pattern while you speak a line in which you’ll repeat until the pattern is complete. You’ll repeat this pattern a couple of times, sing a line of a song and count till 5. After that you’ve changed your thoughts about that specific “problem”. Your feelings are also changed about that specific problem, which is great.

There were a couple of problems I had before going into NLP or EFT. I won’t go into details, cause their a bit private. I can tell you however that my thoughts about those problems are completely changed and my feelings are a lot lighter about those things. The “pain” of those problems are either solved or a lot less, so that’s a good thing.

Some people might not believe in these sort of therapies, but I would advice you, if you have problems with co-workers/ family/ friends or other personal problems that you try one or the other, cause it’ll blow your mind. I believe in energy surrounding us and positive vibes and that when you loose those it can make your live harder than it should be. These therapies (if you’d call them therapies) can help you so much and the good thing about it is that you only need 1 or 2 consults, depending on the size of the problem. You’ll also realise that the problems you have are all connected and if you start solving one, some others will be solved automatically, or other problems will rise inside you that will be able to be solved. Some problems you never you had come across, and even though you don’t know you have them it’ll make sense to you and you won’t be surprised about them. I know I wasn’t surprised at all about upcoming problems.

I think these are great techniques for correcting your train of thought and I also think that everybody should at least try one of these, cause let’s be realistic, everybody has problems that needs to be solved. Some bigger than others but most are just thoughts that need to be corrected 😀

I’d advise people wanted to try these to go in completely blank and don’t have any thoughts about it, cause than it works great and it’ll look like magic 😉