Meeting Jared and Jensen: Take two

I know it’s been a while since VegasCon, but hadn’t found the time to write about it yet.

Vegas 2016 for me started on Friday before the convention. I’ve met up with my friend at the airport and we stayed at an Extended Stay hotel across from the Rio. I thought the bus would take us to The Strip easily and fast, but that didn’t turn out to be the case. I discovered Uber and I loved it: Just order on your phone and the ride is there to pick you up at your location and drop you off wherever you want to go. No payment needed.


Saturday and Sunday basically where some recuperating days and Sunday night we went to a show: Tournaments of Knights and it was hilarious. It was a dinner show set in King Arthur times so that meant no utensils, just eating with your hands. Which I loved every second off. While eating that chicken I thought: I’ve always wanted to know how it felt to eat like that and now I knew.

Later that night we got some tickets for KA and did some gambling. Tuesdays we went to the Luxor ahead of the show and played some slots, what turned out to be fun and we won some cash.
After dinner we’ve got some drinks before the KA show and the show blew our minds. WOW! Those are some incredible artists. A couple of rotating stages, amazing special effects and on top of that the outstanding performances.


Wednesday before registration we met up with some more  friends/ family for dinner, where one of them proposed to the other, which was perfect and amazing and I’m so glad I was able to witness this special moment.
At registration we met up with an amazing person who was standing behind us in line and became instant friends. I am fortunate enough to call her my family too.

Thursday the convention started and Richards opening was again epic. He didn’t have his sidekicks Rob Benedict or Matthew Cohen by his side but that wasn’t noticeable at all. Right than and there he started the “High Church of the Holy Dicks”  and everybody loved it.
Panels on Thursday and Friday where so good I laughed almost those full days. Gil had the “weirdest panel ever”, almost fell off the stage, Osric came out in a suit and Karaoke was a blast, like last year. Jason had an amazing panel with songs and questions, Brianna and Kim had a panel where I was cracking up the whole time. Hilarity galore 😀 Saturday special was amazing and definitely special. Everyone who showed up was at their best and made it great.

Sunday: J2day


Sunday is always J2’s day, which meant Jared and Jensen are in the house for their panels (2 if you have Gold, 1if you don’t), auto’s and pics. I got a pic with Jensen and shared my Jared op with my friend. Meeting Jensen again was a little nerve wrecking beforehand cause of last year. Last year I was totally fine right before the picture and I froze. I could barely get a “Just a hug, please” out and even though I love the photo from last year, I wanted a “real”  hug this year. I knew if I kept “bear hug”  in mind I’d be fine. I was one of the first 50 people to get the photo taken and it was right after the gold panel. At the end of the panel I started to get really nervous and my thoughts where running wild: “We are almost the same height, how can we have a bear hug and a cool photo?” “Oh I hope I can get a word out”  where the thoughts that ran my mind. I was standing in line between two girls who’s never been to a con and told them it would be great, the boys are amazing and you can ask them almost everything. My mind kept racing and than Jensen came in, talked to Chris (photographer) for a bit, took his time with people who couldn’t stand in line (cause they where either in a wheelchair, on crutches or elderly) and that was so nice. Chris also makes sure that he takes the best picture ever for that experience, so if he can make it better by holding your crutches in one hand and his heavy camera in the other, he’d do that.
So while standing in line, observing all that and having my mind racing I told myself to quit it. Last year went great, Jensen is a lovely guy and he’s just a person. A person who inspires me a lot, but still just a human being. So I took a minute to take some breaths, felt myself in that room in that moment and calmed myself down. When it was my turn I looked up said hi, got a hi back and I think I asked for a plain old hug or a bear hug (the exact words I don’t remember) I opened my arms and took a step, which made him laugh and he went in for the hug too. I laughed, looked at Chris, got the picture, looked back, thanked him and than tanked Chris and I walked off with a huge grin on my face.

These are the pics of VegasCon2015

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Later that day we had our Jared op and for some reason I’m never nervous meeting him. Last year was great and this year was great too. I shared my op with my friend and it was a lovely picture like last years. After Jared’s op I figured I’d take a look if the Jensen photo’s where already done and to my surprise it ended up the best photo ever!
So here’s the ops of this Vegas Con:

JaredJenn&I Jensen&I

Overall I laughed so hard I still felt my abs a week later, I could spend time with amazing people, had two perfect photo ops and was able to thank the boys again.

Next year they will hold a convention in Hawaii which will be the first time ever in SPN con history. Even though I am so fortunate to have gone to two Vegas Cons already and I have so many great memories, I’d like to be able to go to Hawaii too. Just because it’s a first time thing and I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii anyways so why not start or finish it with a convention 😀


Time for photo ops and autographs….. Blown away in Vegas (last part)

Saturday and Sunday I had photo ops planned for a couple of the actors. Jared and Jensen ar such a huge inspiration of mine that I had to give them a hug, so to get a photo of that was just a plus 😉 Before the convention I was extremely excited to be able to hug all the amazing people and at the same time I felt a calm rush over me cause I knew the pics would turn out great.

Saturday I had my ops with Mat&Rich, Matt&Gil and Matt solo. I know right! I walked up to Matt&Rich, stood in the middle and it was over. Said hi and bey and that was it. Than with Matt&Gill the same. I noticed that Matt tiptoed to look taller than me and he did that in all my ops. The solo I walked up and just asked for a hug and he gave me a huge hug and, again, tiptoed, which was awesome.

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So I thought “Saturday went fine, so Sunday with J2 will be easy” well guess again 😀 I stood in line for Jensen’s and I was actually nervous, out of all of them Jensen is my biggest inspiration, with Jared as a close second, very close second. I stood in line and there was an older woman in front of me and she was really nervous. I wasn’t really that nervous much but I picked up on all the nerves from everyone else. I told the woman she’d be fine, they are amazing and that she could wait for me and we could hug it out.
She had her pic, but I didn’t see what she did though. Than it was my turn and I walked up, said hi, Jensen said hi back and actually looked at me! And I just blurted out “Just a hug, please” which Jensen responded with “Well okay than” and I grinned like an idiot, I think, and than I said thank you and he said you’re welcome and I looked away.. And than I lost my breath, I couldn’t breath and I think I had sort of a panic attack, but a good one 😀

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I yelled, screamed, hugged it out and it was all good. Than my J2 sandwich was perfect. I had no nerves anymore and I walked up, asked if they could hold my grandpa’s license plate, they did, pic was taken and than I said thank you. Than Jared started talking and I thought he asked me about the license plate, so I started to respond and the moment I said it was my grandpa’s I realised he talked to one of volunteers, they had asked him something. I than immediately thanked them again and got out of the way for the next person in line.
Jared’s was easy. I walked up with “just a hug” and he gave me a huge hug.

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Later that day I had autograph sessions with the boys too. I let other actors sign in a book about the fandom, but for Jared and Jensen I had something different in mind. Because they are a hug inspiration I decided I wanted them to know that they are. So I wrote down why the inspired me and let them sign those pages. I told them both that this was for my inspiration board and Jensen replied to “That’s amazing” or awesome I don’t exactly remember what it was, but it was good and he liked it. And than Jared, oh poor Jared was sick and he had to step out for a bit, but he came back and finished all these autographs (another reason to love them even more, they want to do this, even when they are nog feeling well). He read what I wrote and thanked me, he thought it was very sweet. I told him to get better soon and again he said thanks and that was it.

I can’t believe how nice these guys are. I know it, it’s been said over and over and over again, but if you haven’t experienced it you don’t know how kind, appreciative and truly wonderful all these guys are. They look at you when you say something, they actually hear what you’re saying and they are sincere. They want to be there. I pick up on feelings from other people so I can feel if they weren’t really interested or wanting to be there. All I felt was pure love for each an everyone of us, for the fans for each other, for the guest stars, for the volunteers. As all the guest stars have been saying, these guys want to give back, they want to know us, they are a part of us, we are a part of them. We are all in this together and that’s mind boggling. I don’t tink any other “fandom” has this. But that’s why we’re not called a fandom but a family right??

Okay I’m going to stop talking now, cause I can go on and on an on about this. All I wanted to say is: I’m so damn proud of us and our boys and the cast and crew and all the people in this family. I picked the most epic convention as my first, and maybe my only one, and I’m truly grateful I got to experience this.

So that was it, you know it all know, it took some work to pul all these posts together, but I finally was able to do so. Hope you liked them!

Have an amazing day/ night.

Blown away in Vegas ….. the Supernatural universe (part 1)

Incredible talented cast, panels and what not …… Blown away in Vegas (part 2)

Blown away in Vegas ….. the Supernatural universe (part 1)

Where do I start with explaining how amazing last weekend was? I have no idea how to explain it to people who don’t watch Supernatural and to people who don’t understand conventions. So I’m just going to write and support my story with videos (who aren’t mine) and pictures. I will write about this weekend in three posts, cause there’s just no way I can write it down in just one without you all getting crazy 🙂


Leading up to Vegas

As some of you might know I’m a huge Supernatural fan. Supernatural is a TV show that airs on the CW. I am not sure if it still airs on Dutch TV, but I watch it online, so I don’t really care 🙂 Here’s a little history that led up to this weekend.

About 2,5 years ago I was surfing YouTube for some concert video’s I’d just went to. YouTube recommends video’s for you and the one on top of it all was a Convention Video of Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, leads of Supernatural. I knew about Supernatural but haven’t watched it, cause I thought it was too scary for me to watch. I had a feeling that if I clicked that recommendation I would be sold, and I told myself “Don’t do it!”, so what did I do, yes I clicked the damn link, and I was sold. These guys where amazing, hilarious, smart, kind, grateful and most of all themselves. At that time Season 8 just started and the same thought occurred to me “Don’t watch it, cause ….” and I pulled up 8×01 and indeed I was sold. And I didn’t even mind. I got season 1 – 8 and I watched it, over and over again I watched it. As the seasons went on I kept watching and re-watching. Same as the convention video’s, every time there’s been new conventions I watch them. See what hilarity they brough, how connected they still are to the fans and to each other. The bond on and offscreen between Jared and Jensen is amazing. They are brothers, and they, still, are humbled about what they have, who their fans are, they appreciate everything. I think that’s what pulled me in, their amazing bond and who they are. Something like this happens at conventions:

The moment I watched that first convention video I knew I had to go to one. I researched online and I figured that if I’d ever go to one now was the time and I wanted to go to Vegas. Vegas is the biggest (4 days) convention and I knew I was going for a gold ticket, the best seats in the house with extra’s, like autographs and special nights. Supernatural is now in it’s 10th season and 11 is on its way. I, personally think, that it will last until season 12. I hope for more cause this show is getting better and better. The characters evolve a and the acting is superb. I think S6 and S7 are a little less, but it got a better with S8, S9 was even better than 8 and this season, season 10 is extraordinaire.

So I started to plan for this trip and arranged it with my work. I was excited to go and although 2,5 years might seem long, it flew by.

Social Media and Supernatural

A lot of the actors are on social media. In the last year both Jared and Jensen joined Facebook and they are both on Twitter. Jensen joined Twitter during a convention last year and that was amazing.

There are so many fans online as well. Most followers I have on Twitter are fans. I got them during a scavenger hunt I went on (GISHWHES), organised by Misha Collins (Castiel from Supernatural). He has an organisation called Random Acts and this year GISHWHES is going to be held for the 5th time. Any who, that was besides the point. I got into that and gained followers and we actually had conversations. I found a couple of groups on Facebook and it’s such, again, an incredible feeling to be in this family. Every fan in these groups care about each other, we care about the show and we can speak our mind. If you throw in hate, you’re out, cause that’s not who we are. We discus for sure, and we have our own opinions, but we do not hate. And that is amazing.

One of groups I got invited to is the Kitty Krew. I don’t know where the name came from, but I know we are close. It’s a small and closed group (about 75 people) and we discus everything. Supernatural, the actors, the story, our story, our worries, our troubles, our victories, whatever we want we put out. A couple of the girls also went to the convention in Vegas and I ended up spending most of the downtime with them. The moment we met on Wednesday for dinner we hit it off. It was so easy and homey and felt so normal. It felt like we where supposed to be there and like we’ve always known each other.

So here’s me and the Kitties that went.

Kitties 2

Kitties during some down time.

Kitties Karaoke

Kitties before Karaoke

Kittys 1

Kitties and the Green Machine. One Kitty is never in the pic, cause she doesn’t like to be in it, but the Green Machine is her car and she took so many incredible pictures!

After all the amazing days (which you’ll read about in the next 2 blogs) it was hard saying goodbye. Most of us spread out across the country, one to Canada, one to Austria. I didn’t want to get out of this bubble so I drove after one of them and that’s where I am now. I’m spending a couple of days with her and I’m finally out of the convention bubble. That’s not to say I don’t want to be back in, cause it was amazing, but I’m not sad about it any more 🙂

If you want to read the rest of the story, just click on the following links. Enjoy! ❤

Incredible talented cast, panels and what not …… Blown away in Vegas (part 2)

Time for photo ops and autos….. Blown away in Vegas (last part)

Supernatural: Bloodlines, please don’t……..

So after all this hype about the spin off, which I was concerned about from the moment I heard about it, it finally aired. And I’m disappointed that my feelings were right. They could’ve done so much more with this “spin off”, which actually wasn’t really a spin off, but just the introduction of a new show where they put the name Supernatural on. Honestly I am majorly disappointed, I don’t like to be negative, but I love Supernatural and this Bloodlines episode doesn’t deserve to be called Supernatural.

I thought it was supposed to be a Supernatural episode introducing the families in Chicago that “Supernatural: Bloodlines” is about and not a different show with Sam and Dean just popping in because “oh yeah they are Supernatural so they have to have some screen time”. The episode might have started with a crime like in Supernatural, but it didn’t feel like that at all. The way it started was like watching an NCIS Los Angeles episode, and I got the same kind of vibe from this episode as I get from that series. The music also didn’t fit for a Supernatural episode.

The vibe was totally off, it didn’t feel like Supernatural and I don’t think it’s fair to call it a spin off of the show. It doesn’t deserve the name. If the episode was an episode about Sam and Dean finding out about something weird going on in Chicago and they went after it and found out about the five families it would be so much different. If they also incorporated some of the things the boys are dealing with right now (the way the MOC affects Dean and that they have other “priorities” than this monster in Chicago, about Crowley/ Abbadon and even Cas or their worry about Charlie or something), maybe they could’ve join forces with some people there, it might’ve earned the name. Than it could be a spin off but the fact that they just threw Sam and Dean in it is not fair, not for the characters, the show and it is disrespectful for the actors (Jared and Jensen). They’ve earned a lot more than just a “cameo” in a series that is supposed to be a spin off of the show THEY created, a show THEY build, a show THEY have made huge and amazing.

This episode was so out of place, I don’t get it. It should’ve just been a pilot, but not a whole Supernatural episode, especially now that there’s so much going on with the boys and the stories. There’s too much too tell in so little time and they screwed it up by using a whole episode for a pilot for a new show. Again: if it was just a hunt it would be okay, if it was a real Sam and Dean hunt, but this, no this isn’t Supernatural. The fact that we didn’t get to see their “usual” way of hunting shouldn’t be an issue. Even the “out of line” episodes of SPN like “The Ghost Facers”, “The French Mistake”, “Dog Dean Afternoon”, “Bitten” and other episodes felt like Supernatural.

I also don’t get why Sam and Dean have never heard about these families in Chicago? They could’ve read it in the MOL archives, they have  everything in there so I am surprised they didn’t know about that. Especially because it’s a big deal and it’s five monster families. The MOL have so much information and this is such a big one to miss…..

Sam and Dean wouldn’t let that kid kill the “monster of the week” guy. Well maybe Dean would in his MOC condition (which I     didn’t see anything from in this episode) but Sam definitely wouldn’t. His morals are still “We hunt evil and kill monsters, but we don’t kill people” (well except Gordon ….). They also wouldn’t just leave like they did. Okay they had a Metatron to get back too, but they would never just drop everything and run, it’s not in them and it never will be. It’s a job and they always finish a job before going back to their other priorities, like killing Abbadon/ Crowley or Metatron. They would’ve made sure the kid was okay, get them in touch with at least Garth or some other hunter to make sure he will be safe or be trained for this life. Not just a quick “sorry, we have to go, figure it out by yourself” line…

Also Dean wasn’t acting like Dean from the last couple of SPN episodes. Dean was so much “lighter” than he was in even the last episode “Alex, Annie,  Alexis, Ann”. He was a lot more rough in those episodes and affected by the MOC, did you see his black eyes?? But this episode he had is wit, called Sam Sammy again and had some humor, we haven’t seen that in a while so that was out of place too.

If they call this a spin off why not call The Vampire Diaries a spin off? It’s also about monsters, but is a separate show. Bloodlines for me like that too. It could be just an other supernatural show, but it shouldn’t be connected to SPN. After watching this episode I’m sorry to say that I’m not gonna watch the rest of the series if it will be aired.

Don’t get me wrong, I think I might’ve liked it if it was just me tuning into a new show, but this was a Supernatural episode without the Supernatural vibe. If you  missed this episode you didn’t miss anything about the show. The boys where not like the boys at all, they were different and it all just felt different. There was nothing in Bloodlines reminding us about Supernatural, except the fact that Sam and Dean were in it for a bit.

SPN Blade Runners

Last night the newest episode of Supernatural was aired and here’s my thought’s on it. Overall I thought it was a great episode, the acting was amazing and it was well written.

However I thought that there was some redundancy and the thing that I really dislike about TV-shows is their redundancy. What I’m talking about is Crowley, they double crossed them again, seriously? They weren’t expecting that even what they’ve been going through in the past with Crowley. That Dean is a bit of his rocker is obvious, cause he really doesn’t care (I talk about that later) but Sam really must’ve known Crowley would’ve had his own plan. That was something that I really didn’t wanna see. And besides that Dean is the owner of the blade, why isn’t he able to “zap” it over to him at will (or maybe that’s because he doesn’t know how to use that part of him yet).

I was glad to see that Sam noticed the affect the Mark of Cain had on Dean and that he was able to pull him back from where he was heading. What I hope is that not everything is forgiven from the last episodes. I hated to see the brothers in a rift, but I will not accept it when it’s all over now, I haven’t seen the strain in this episode and I hope we’ll see it next one, cause I’m sure it’s still there. It has to be, it can’t be over like this not after everything that’s been said. Sam did notice that Dean’s affected by the First Blade and the Mark of Cain but I think and I hope that at some point Dean can disappear, like Cain can, and that he just doesn’t care anymore. He is becoming a killer (we’ve seen bits and pieces about that in the last couple of episodes and I really like where that’s going) and I really like seeing him change, Dean being affected by something else other than Sam’s pain or mistakes.

What I hope is that Dean will be able to disappear and just goes crazy, obsessed with his blade and not being able to get found by Sam or anything. I want to see what happens between them than and how they both react to that. We just watched Sam with a bit of a concern, but I believe the rift will grow and that’s a cool thing to look forward to. Don’t get me wrong my feelings are all over the place watching these two get hurt or in pain, but it would be interesting to see how that’ll work out. I’m sure they would play it perfectly, cause they always do.

As much as I love Crowley, I hope they are able to kill him soon, cause this double crossing them is getting too obvious and old. I hope they either cure him or kill him….. He was so great on his bender last night and his being hooked on human blood. I still don’t get how Dean hasn’t been able or wanted to cure him. They know how to do it and I know that Sam can’t because of the trials, but Dean is (or least he was before his Mark) able to cure him. Now he probably don’t care about any of it, cause he stopped caring about anything, well except Sam and Baby (obviously, and WHY did they have to do that to her????? ;))

It is amazing though that I totally have no clue about what happens or how the story will evolve and it’s amazing that a show can still do this in it’s 9th season. I don’t believe the story about Dean and his mark will be resolved in this season, oh I hope not. I do think that the Angel and Heaven storyline should finish in this season. Metatron is such an annoying person and I really not feel him being a part of this story, it is now, but I think it’s better when he’s not around and Heaven is open again, cause with heaven closed all the souls are still stuck behind the vail and that’s not a pretty sight (as Kevin pointed out).

Dean and his Mark

I’ve got a few theories about Dean and his new found Mark. It all starts when he’s in Hell torturing, and maybe even before that. It’s a long story, and it might not be very fluid, so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make to much sense….

“You can’t escape me Dean, you’re gonna die and this is what you’re gonna become” I think he partly became that Dean when he went to hell and “liked” the torture. I don’t believe he really liked the torture, but I think he embraced it, because he really had no other option to embrace torturing souls other than being tortured himself. I think, knowing Alistair, he has been torturing souls that weren’t bad in the first place, so the “I made a deal with the devil” people, who weren’t bad but just made a bad call. I wish I could think it was only really bad people Dean had to torture, but knowing who made him torture I’m afraid he didn’t… And no matter what it were still souls, no matter how bad of a person it would’ve been, it’s still torture and it still was horrific, no matter if it was deserved (torture is never deserved anyway, but you know what I mean….)

Dean shut himself off of everything in Hell (and maybe he pretended to like torture, cause it’s easier to do something really bad with a smile on your face than not) and also after he came back. I also think that the horseman told him he was already dead inside because that’s what he really felt. He shut of his feelings because it would hurt to much if he let any feelings in. I think Dean might’ve been dead long before John died. Dean has been saying he was tired of this life from the first or second season and I think Dean died a lot when his mom died, Sam left for college and than John died. I think that all affected him not in a good way. I think his childhood (taking care of Sammy and being a good soldier) made him (feel) dead inside.

Dean told Cas something like “if I get in there, you’re not gonna like what’s coming out”. He didn’t change  while trying to torture Alastair, he couldn’t because he was feeling guilty about all the souls and he didn’t want to get back to that “person”. He pulled himself out and that’s why he couldn’t get through to Alastair, which I think is amazing, cause he could’ve just let everything go and became a torturer again……. I think that there’s still a piece of Dean we haven’t seen, but it’s not in the pit, it’s stuck deep inside of himself (although Alastair said: “You left a part of yourself back in the Pit, lets see if we can’t get the two of you back together shall we?”). Dean feels so bad about what he did and he doesn’t want to think about it, but it’s still in him. He buries everything that he doesn’t want to talk about or think about but he needs to remember what he did, how bad it got, so he can do better and be a better hunter. That is what I think. It’s not in Hell, it’s in himself and sometimes he might need to do things he really doesn’t want to and than he will pull something out of himself so he can do the things other people can’t, if that makes any sense……..Maybe we get to see it when the Mark of Cain progresses to change him…

Cas asked Dean: “Why do you think you don’t deserved to be saved?” I think he always felt second place to Sam. He was the one who had to take care of him, no matter what happened, take care of Sam. He’s been feeling guilty all his life. His whole life revolves around Sam, he’s feeling guilty and responsible for everything Sammy had to go through and he will always have his back. Dean is just going through the motions, living a live, protecting Sam. Making sure Sammy is okay and for the rest of it, who cares what happens to me… That’s so sad though, but that’s Dean and that’s why I Love him, that makes Dean Dean. It’s hard to look at but it’s amazing at the same time. .

I think Cain told Dean he was worthy of the Mark because he really is. He is his brothers keeper, he went to Hell for his brother and basically Cain did the same right. He didn’t want Able to go to Hell so he killed him so he could go to heaven. And than he became Lucifers puppet, until he met his wife. I don’t think it’s because of Dean torturing in Hell, I think it’s about not feeling worthy about being alive and he couldn’t care less what happens to him as long as his brother is safe… In the Croatoan episode Dean said, again, he was tired of this life. The only reason I think Dean is still “standing” is because he made a promise when he was very little. The promise to “Take care of Sammy” and he’s never done anything less than taking care of him. Even when Sam didn’t have a soul, when he was addicted to demon blood, when he was with Ruby, during the trials, skipping the last trial, tricking Sam into saying yes to Zeke/Gadreel and so on.

So according to the bible Cain is the father of murder now, which isn’t good, but hell was not very pleasant as well 😉 The fact that the Mark makes sure Dean doesn’t have any family left (I read somewhere that that’s also an affect of the Mark) makes him a better killer. Cain made sure he only killed demons I believe, so Dean can do that too… I think his time in Hell may have prepared him for this …..A shitty new live but be doesn’t care about himself anyways so why not some more burdens to bare and guilt to cary and whatever right (I think as Dean now, not as myself…)…. I don’t think Dean can suffer any more as he does right now. He’s filled with guilt and I think that’s why he is a perfect candidate for the Mark of Cain, I don’t think Cain would’ve given Dean the Mark if he knew he couldn’t handle it. Cause Cain is not a bad guy, he want’s to do good so I think he picked the one person who could handle the Mark the most which obviously is Dean. Maybe he still is a bit dead in side…

I’ve read that Lucifer made a deal with Cain to kill Able so that Able didn’t get to Hell. So I think Lucifer gave Cain the Mark so he could do bad stuff and create monsters. Cain created the Night’s of Hell right? So that must’ve been a command of Lucifer.. I’m still confused about Littlith though, cause she was the first demon right, but than she must’ve been as old or older as Abadon, cause Cain created the first Night’s of Hell, or was Lillith made by a Night of Hell??? Wow now I’m confused………Okay back to the point.. I don’t think Lucifer is giving any orders anymore, cause he’s still fighting with Michael in the cage. I have no ideas or clues about what his influence on Dean will have…….. ohhhhhhh shit I just came up with a theory which will freak the hell out of you, so SORRRYYYY in advance!!!!!!

What if Sam will say YES to Lucifer again???? You know “The End”, “no matter what details you alter, we will always end up back here”? We know Sam and Dean are drifting apart, what if Dean gets so dark he opens up Lucifers cage so he could posses Sam (cause Sam already said yes to him once so I don’t think he need his permission again right, but than again Gadreel asked permission to enter his “first” vessel so I might be wrong) and than when Dean has to kill Cain the Mark will disappear and Dean is all alone again trying to get Sam back……… I don’t know, it just popped up in my mind, something like that…. So back to the point.

I think the Mark already is slowly affecting Dean, well maybe it’s affecting Sam a bit more now (remember the distancing of family because of the Mark?) than it is Dean, but I think it can’t change to fast, cause otherwise people will notice to quickly and can do something about it. I think that’s the whole point of the Mark. Slowly changing  you and the people around you so they wouldn’t question what you’re doing and than just leave when they had enough and than you’re all alone. I’ve noticed Dean is getting quicker (remember him throwing knives) and his decisions about what to kill (remember the phishtaco lady….) I think Dean will kill Abaddon with the help of Crowley, I also think he will kill Crowley after that but he can only do that while he is still somewhat like he is now. When he still has morals and knows what’s right. I don’t know how dark he will and can get, but I hope he doesn’t destroy the bunker, cause that’s where all the knowledge is right….. Ohh wow another creepy thought: if Dean really becomes “evil” he might not like all the knowledge in the bunker and he might want to destroy it so Sam, or Charlie or whoever can find the information to save him from the Mark……. I really hope that when Dean gets “evil” the bunker will “spit” him out and he can’t enter, so all the knowledge is saved and he can be too….I don’t think Dean will ask Sam to save him, cause he probably believes that he won’t. I think Dean won’t notice when he turns or changes, I think he might get off of the radar so that Sam even doesn’t know where he is and can’t find him. I think there will be a great rift between the brothers, both don’t care for one or the other and someone else will have to save them both.

Dean will get a lot darker when Sam is pulling out more. Sam has always been Dean’s anchor, remember at the end of The End Dean tells Sam “We keep each other human”? I think that’s what happening here. Sam is pulling out slowly so Dean is getting less and less human. It would’ve probably happen sooner, if they weren’t this close but now with the Mark it’ll happen soon. I think Sam is also a bit confused about what he is doing or what is happening to him. Remember when he walked away to his room when Kevin left? He was hesitant to open his bedroom door and was doubting if he would enter or get back to Dean, he chose to get into the room, but I think he really didn’t want to though…..

As long as they are still on jobs together there’s a chance they will be okay. I’m just afraid that something might happen soon, that Sam decides to quit working with Dean. I don’t know why, maybe when he will kill Abaddon or Crowley and he goes off the rails when doing that.

I have no clue about how Cas will react. I know he will be pissed at Dean, but I also think he might understand why he did it. I don’t want Cas to have the answer though, cause it’ll be a quick fix and that’s something I don’t want for Dean. I want to see him struggle, I want to see his dark side, his really really dark side, I want to see how much different he is when he is evil and I want to see how manipulative he can be when he is evil. I think that will be quit interesting. I also think they might not even get to save Dean when season 9 ends. I hope it won’t cause it’s a good storyline. I think this season is about the rift between Sam and Dean and I think next season they might be able to help each other and get back together again. I really hope they’re gonna kill Metatron, cause I really really don’t like him! I don’t hate people, but he is so annoyingly bad I want him dead as soon as possible.

I don’t think Cas will have a lot of time to see Sam and Dean, but that’s also because they won’t get in touch with him. Sam doesn’t know or care what will happen to Dean so he won’t call Cas. And Dean won’t get in touch with Cas, cause he doesn’t know what’s happening to him and has other priorities. 

I read Dean is the only one who can kill Cain with his own blade and while having the Mark. I don’t think it matters so much that he might get 7 times more of guilt and suffering, because he couldn’t care less. He’s been suffering so much already this won’t be anything new for him.. Maybe the moment Dean kills Cain Cain can remove the mark from Dean? I don’t know if that’s a possibility but maybe the Mark leaves when Cain dies, that sounds nice, doesn’t it 🙂 That does mean Sam won’t have to save Dean though, and maybe that’s how it’s going to turn out. I don’t know, I think this season the brothers aren’t going to save each other when they need to. Well unless it’s on a hunt, but that’s different.

I think it’ll be a long season (and we only have 8 episodes left). I really hope they only finish the Angel storyline this season and not de Mark of Cain one, cause there’s so much to explore with that one.

Sam Winchester I feel for you

I’ve been a Dean girl from the get go which doesn’t mean I don’t love Sam as much, just different. Everybody has a favorite character and that’s okay.

It is so hard to write a coherent story about Sam. I’ve got so many thoughts about him and the moment I write something down I feel like I’m not doing it right. Maybe because I don’t understand Sam as much as I (think I) understand Dean. So please bare with me on this one.

I believer Sam has been a psychic from the moment he was born, and I think he still is. I don’t think that Azazel made him become a psychic, he only made sure that he was able to be Lucifers vessel by having demon blood in his body. Remember when Azazel was in Saint Mary’s and asked Lucifer what to do? Lucifer than said “Find the boy”. And he did. That must’ve meant Sam was already special. We find out that he was Lucifers vessel, cause that’s what was written and the prophecy, but we didn’t know that by than. In the episode where Sam and Dean are trying to find the sixth month old babies and go on the hunt to kill the demon, because their dad is being called away by Meg. In that episode Sam has a vision about a baby named Rosie and when he meets her and her mom the mom tells Sam something like “She just looks at you, I swear she knows what people think”. I think that is what Azalel did, find all the children with already special powers, but just infect them with demon blood so they can turn evil, as a lot of them did, not all but most of them. I can’t keep thinking about poor Andy, I hope Ash has found him too and made him feel comfortable in his Road House 😉 But that’s beside the point.

That is also why I don’t think that Sam is “healed” from being psychic, I think it’s just buried inside him. I don’t think he knows it’s still in him though. I think he believes that after the opened Lucifers cage that with the demon blood gone the powers are gone too. And when he do finds out he still has those powers he might be to afraid to use them cause he is scared of what will happen if he taps into them. The demon blood, yes that is something Azazel did to him and I really hope he’s being cured of that, but I believe he would still be able to pull demons out with his powers.

Also Ruby told him it had to be him and he always was special. She just gave him the options and he chose the “right” ones. He had it in him the whole time and she made sure he got hooked on the blood. I felt so bad for him when Dean finds out that Sam is pulling demons right after Cas had said that it if he didn’t stop they would have to stop him. That moment in the hotel room where Dean says “If I didn’t know you, I would want to hunt you” was heart breaking. Sam only did what he think was right, it felt right (well except for the demon blood, cause that he knew was bad) to being able to help people without killing them. And I think that was went it all went wrong. He wanted to do what was right and that backfired. It doesn’t mean that it was his fault that Lucifer was set free, cause it was Dean who broke the first seal, but it still backfired. The moment that the gate opened and the fire is out we see that Dean is trying to pull Sam away but the look on Sam’s face when he says “Dean, he is coming” was almost satisfying and it scared the hell out of me. I don’t know if it was pride and the dark side of Sam coming out, but it was a scary moment, cause in that moment I really thought he was going to say yes right away…..

Sam never wanted the life of a hunter. Dean never knew had a life outside of hunting, it’s always been “Take care of Sammy”. Sam had a little longer of being a child than Dean (who was about 4 when he was thrown in the life, Sam about 9, which is still too young, don’t get me wrong but still), he went to Stanford for a few years and had a year off with Amelia. The episode The Dark Side of the Moon was gut wrenching. Mostly because we see that family means so much more to Dean than Sam. Don’t get me wrong Sam loves Dean, he is his brother, but he never felt being part of the family. He always felt an outsider, maybe because that’s what he is. He never wanted in and Dean was always the good soldier who did what he was told. But he did it all for Sam, he still does and maybe that’s what makes me not understand Sam as much nowadays.

I think the difference between Sam and Dean is that Dean always had a purpose. As written before he took care of Sammy and he always will. Sam’s first and foremost thought is “I don’t want this life”. I think he might still blame his dad for getting them into this life. He accepted it, but he still hasn’t embraced the life, not like Dean has. This doesn’t mean that Dean doesn’t makes mistakes. His biggest one is letting Ezekiel (a.k.a. Gadreel) posses Sam so he could cure him. That he was played we all saw coming, but we wanted to believe he was the good guy. He was until Metatron came along…. The biggest mistake Dean made here wasn’t so much tricking Sam into saying yes to Ezekiel but lying about it. You could see he didn’t want to lie about this, cause this was to big, but he didn’t want his brother to die so he caved.

Maybe because Sam never had to make such a big decision for Dean  is that he doesn’t get it. It hasn’t been his life’s mission to take care of Dean so he probably doesn’t understand how much Dean has done for him and how it would be like to be in Deans shoes. He appreciate that he was always there for him, that he really does, but I don’t think he gets it.

He cares for Dean, that we all know and have seen mostly in the first 5 seasons. He wanted Dean out of hell and tried his best to do so, but when Dean went to purgatory it was over. He went off and didn’t look back. And I get it, he didn’t have anyone anymore and just wanted to get away from it all (again). It doesn’t mean  I hated him for doing that though. Not looking for Dean and Kevin. Until the moment Dean and Amelia tell Sam “Two feet in or two feet out” Sam never dedicated his life to being a hunter. That moment there he made a decision to give his all for being a hunter. Until they boarded up hell, cause then he was out. He still had that doubt about being out after…. He always had that.

  • When we find dad, I’m out
  • When we kill the demon, I’m out
  • When we board up hell, I’m out

I think now that he has a purpose with the Men of Letters that he finally embraces the life. Maybe not as a hunter but at least as a Men of Letters.

The rift between Sam and Dean now is understandable. Dean lied and about something huge, so it’s hard to get over that. On the other hand we all know Sam would do exactly the same for Dean. He says that’s not true but I don’t believe that for a second. I think the Sam we are seeing now is a Sam Dean needs to see because of the Mark of Cain. I won’t get into that to deep, but I believe they will figure it all out. I hope sooner than later, but than again it’s Supernatural so it probably won’t 😉

I could probably write a lot more about Sam and I might write a long one about my thoughts of the Mark of Cain and it’s affects, but for now I’m done.

Have a good one!