Acting = Scary? WHY???

As you know last Wednesday I had my first (out of eight) acting class. I wrote about how terrified I was during the class and that it was so nerve wrecking. As you can read in my post about that or the post the day after I wrote about my thoughts on the process.

I also talked to a few other colleagues and one of them said to me: “Why can’t you show other people what a great person you are? What is it that holds you back?” I can’t tell you that.

The rest of the week, until I think yesterday I was nervous every time I was thinking about acting. And than I thought “STOP IT!” I shouldn’t be afraid to act. I don’t know why I am afraid. Maybe it’s because deep down I don’t want to disappoint myself or other people Or maybe because I don’t want to make a fool out of my self, I’m embarrassed or something. I don’t know, but that is not the point. The point is that I signed up for this class to have fun, to learn how to entertain people, to learn how to portray someone other then myself. It doesn’t have to do anything about fear, I know there might be some exercises I’d rather not do, but I just want to have fun. I want to be creative, I want to come with a brilliant way to explain why someone needs to play tennis and not just 2 sentences and than go blank. I want my brain to take over and really get into the character that I am trying to portray. I might not be able to improvise as much as other people can, but that is because (for now at least) I feel like I need to know what I have to say, or at least have some sort of script. But that can change too, maybe in the end I love to improvise and be better at it.

I’ve been thinking about that and I’ve been trying to feel comfortable, I’ve been trying to Neuro Linguistic Program myself a bit and I think it’ll work. I have a tattoo on my shoulder which states: “No FEAR”, so why am I afraid. I have no idea. It might be because of the things I wrote down above, or it might be something completely else. The thing is that it shouldn’t matter.

I know I have this gift called HSP (Highly Sensitive Personality) which makes me able to feel other peoples feelings and understand what they go through, even if I haven’t experienced this myself. So again: why am I afraid for the acting class. Maybe I just felt all the nerves from everyone in the room, or it might be completely me. The thing is: I DIDNT LIKE IT! And I don’t want to feel like that anymore, it was exhausting and not fun at all, to feel sooooooo tense for 3 hours during the class and almost 2 hours after.

An other thing is that I did GISHWES last year and I had a photo taken of me in a tea bag bikini, and I didn’t mind that. That turned out great and I even presented the photo’s to my colleagues, so come to think about that it really isn’t realistic for me to be scared of acting or to be in front of a group. Especially when it’s a safe environment where everyone respects each other and wants the same thing I want: to ACT and learn how to be a different character/ person.

So I have decided that at the beginning of Wednesdays class I’ll ask if I can have a few minutes and than I’ll try to explain what happened last week and why I am there. I am there for the FUN not for the FEAR and I know it might get hard, but I also I will be able to act and perform in front of a group without being tense of fear for the whole time.

And that’s all folks 😉

G’night! ❤

 

Acting class 1/8

Tonight I had my first acting class ever. My friend and I decided it would be fun to follow an eight week course called: Introduction in Acting.

I thought, dunno what she thought though, that it was the principles of acting, starting slow and move onward. WOW was I wrong! We were thrown in a pool and that was scary. My other friend told me, when I told her I didn’t know what to expect, that it was going to be fun and you know “Act like a tree” so I was pretty amazed that it was noting like that at all!

So we didn’t do a introduction round no we just started right away. One by one we had to come into the room (or on the stage) and tell us about our day. After that we got an assignment. This wasn’t after everybody told their story and then we started over with that assignment. No the first person who told about their day immediately was asked to get out of their comfort zone and do an assignment. The people before me were amazing, and I was like: Oh hell what is he going to ask of me. I felt all the tension from everybody and the nerves also, and also my own nerves, so it was pretty intense.

When it was my turn I came in and told them about my day. He asked me how it was like to do that and I told him I was nervous and felt scared. I also told him I was super sensitive and I could everybody else’s feelings as well. He then asked me what my hobbies were and when I said Tennis he said: Convince somebody that they have to play Tennis. And I was so nervous and confused about what to say. I blacked out. He then told me that I am a person who needs to control the situation and always have to know what is going on. My brain went blank, and blank. He asked me not to talk to the wall and also asked me to convince someone to play Tennis in Arabic, which I told I can’t do, cause I don’t speak Arabic (which really isn’t necessary when you’re acting, cause you’re acting and you only have to bring the message along (this comes up when I’m typing this)). After that didn’t work he asked me why it was scary to stand there and than I broke down a little. I told the group it was scary to perform in front of a group cause people look at you. I told them I afraid of not doing a good job, that the people wouldn’t like what they were seeing. He asked why and I told the group: Cause I had a shitty past and almost started crying. Then he asked me to tell a joke, in that moment. And I had to think for a second and came up with the lamest joke there was, but the point he made is that even if you get emotional there’s always a way out. You have to keep going. So that’s what I learned.

After that we were doing another round but than to have a conversation with someone else. One person was waiting till someone came into the room and then started a conversation. No one knew what it was going to be about only the person coming into the room was. This was a “listen and look” exercise, you have to listen, look and react about the other person and that first person wanted something from the other one. The think is we, as a second person, needed to find out what it was they wanted from us. With that exercise it felt a lot the people brought in a real experience. I was the receiving end (second person, who waited for the first one to come into the room) and I thought it was really hard to come up with answers to the questions I got asked. Now (about 2 hours after the lesson) I figured that my reaction time is long, my brain is empty when I have to improvise. I’ve never been able to get an answer on the spot, especially when I’m dumbfounded about the question or, as our “teacher” so politely told me: when I don’t have control of the situation.

So I’ve learned quite a bit about myself today and even though it scares me I am going back, cause I can’t wait what he has in store for me next week. I know there’s more boundaries to cross and that it’s going to be painful, he told us he’s not a psychologist and that’s good, but its going to be good. I made a little progress and I am certain I am able to shed of more next week and the week after.

Thinking about the class today a feeling of trust is also coming up. There where these little moments when other people where “on stage” and once a while there was a little eye contact. I thought that was pretty amazing. When I stood in front of the group and looked at the people there also was a feeling of trust and understanding. They respected me and that was a good feeling as well. So all in all a good experience, scary, funny, crazy, heart beating out of my chest nerve wrecking, but GOOD.

So now I’m going to sleep and see what tomorrow will bring at work.

Excited for next week!

Sleep well/ have a great night/ day! ❤ -me

Ps. For my own head: He teaches with the 5 W values of acting: Who, What, Where, Why and When

Inspiring book about Fandom: “Fangasm: Supernatural Fangirls”?

As many of you know I’m a Supernatural Fan. I just recently got the attitude of “I don’t care, I like what I like and if you don’t than you don’t, just don’t judge me for it”. I am a fan of Bon Jovi’s music and a major fan of the Supernatural family, this includes the show, the actors and the whole fandom (which is called SPN Family). Oh and I also love Country Music (as a Dutchie that might be weird as well), Taylor Swift, ’80’s music, action movies and what not. A great part of me not caring any longer is because of the book I just finished. The book is about fandom and it spoke to me from the first page. It is called Fangasm: Supernatural Fangirls and it’s amazing 😀 It is about fandom and especially the SPN Family.

I don’t get what the big deal is about fandom and why we “should” feel shame. Is it because all the “crazy” fans are all the fans we ever see, the yelling/ screaming, “ohmygodiloveyou” girls on television or in news reports. Headlines like “Stalker fan jumps ….” with pictures and horrible stories? I think that’s just the media wanting to create chaos and probably fear. Fear of loving what you love just because it’s this cult show, under appreciated by many.

But isn’t being a fan of a show the same as being part of/ or fan of a football team. You feel you belong in a group with a mutual interest. So why be ashamed?? Don’t get me wrong I feel I have to explain myself why I love this family so much all the time, and I don’t like it. However I also feel that everyone should love what they love and just get on with it.

I think the main issue with people, when talking about fandom, is that they don’t understand. When I talk to some of my friends about my “obsession” with Supernatural they look at me funny and call me an addict. I laugh it off, agree, but it doesn’t feel great. When I try to explain what it is that gets me most of them think “Oh you’re just hooked, cause of these actors” but actually it’s about the story. It’s not about the hunting evil, but about the brotherly bond they have. For me it’s about the bond on and off screen. The bond between the cast/ crew/ fans etcetera.

Maybe it’s because other people I talk to are embarrassed themselves for being a fan of something/ someone and they don’t know how to tell other people so they look funny at the people who are “brave” enough to tell everyone who or what they are a fan off. Or maybe it is because I am a new fan and can’t really understand how a show (or people) can grab me by the throat and don’t let go.

I’m not a fan that reads and writes fan fiction. I do however signed up to the LiveJournal community of Supernatural, just to see what’s out there. I’m also very connected with fans all over the world and that makes me feel great. There’s so many people who love this show that it makes me smile. I love the way people discus story lines and episodes on Twitter and Facebook and disagree about things. The way they always share convention videos/ photo’s/ stories/ Q&A’s makes me melt. Just to see how much love this show is getting from all across the globe with all different back grounds and education, some young some older.

I’ve been reading Fangasm: When Academics go to Hollywood which is a blog about the SPN fandom. It’s a blog written by the same writers as the book and it’s such an easy read.

Couple of days ago I was online (again) reading things about Supernatural, and stumbled on that book I wanted to read. I wanted to read it before but didn’t buy it yet. Until last Saturday, when I just though: what the hell, I’m just gonna buy the ebook and start reading, which I did.

I finished it in 4 days so that must be some kind of record 😉 I’ve read some articles and interviews from the writers and was interested in the book. They blog their interviews, thoughts about episodes e.d. In the book they write how much The Powers That Be (TPTB) don’t know the fans, show or important things the cast and crew want. They have their own vision of what they want and don’t listen even when they are told they are not correct. That must be because they don’t get the show, cast, crew, fans well the whole family actually 🙂 The moment I start reading the book I got sucked in, just like Supernatural, I got hooked and couldn’t put the book down. It is so well written, just like someone is talking to you. It doesn’t feel like a read, it feels like a listen. I mostly read while commuting (by bus) to work and I laughed so hard at experiences they had and how they reacted to situations. I could see it in front of me and probably would have a lot of those same reactions as them.

SO thank you Lynn and Kathy for allowing us to be a fan and not be ashamed. To tell us it’s okay to love what you love and get lost in something that interest you. To go online and write you’re own thoughts about and to talk to other people, discus what you like and also what you don’t like. And for most of all: THANK you for letting us be PROUD to be a fan and be proud of this amazing community a.k.a. The SPNFamily. I felt welcome the moment I saw an interview with Jared and Jensen at a convention (november 2012). I never watched the show before but when I saw that panel I knew I was going to get hooked to the show. So for me it wasn’t the show that introduced me to J2, but they introduced me to the show. I started when season 8 came out, so I am a late fan. Doesn’t mean I love it any less.

Soul mates and what not

So I had this intense talk with one of my best friends. I don’t know how we got there, but everytime we talk it turns out deep and awesome. We always say, especially when people want to put us in boxes, that we are cirlces and we won’t fit into a square. Small minded people keep trying to tell us what to do and where we belong, but the amazing thing is we are so great together that it doesn’t matter. We know who we are and just because other people are not able to see that we are okay.
We had this talk about what level of thought other people have. We don’t look down on any type of person, but we sometimes (and it’s only with here that I talk about this stuff, cause she is me in some sort of way) feel like we are talking to people who don’t understand. To people who settle for their job, partner and life just because the don’t (can’t) look further or just want to have it right away. These are also the people who say to us that we need to get a partner or a good steady job, you know cause we’re (arround) 30… I get that people want a great life for us, but for us to be happy doesn’t mean that we have to have a partner or a great job. We are happy with what we are and how we are, even though it might seems strange sometimes. I love who I am and of course I love her to death and it’s so amazing to have someone in my life such an amazing bond with.

When I went home and sat in the bus home I wrote something like this to her (I asked her permission to post it here 😉 ):
We are so screwed up its awesome! Haha just realised how out of place we both are but also how amazing it is. We are perfectly the same and that’s why you’re my soulmate. I love you and we’ll never be apart, no matter how much physical distance there is between us, no one can separate us mentally. We’ll always be a two sides of one coin. We are so lucky we have that, there’s not a lot of people who do. Cause most of the people just settle for okay just because they want something. Settleling is not for us. Everything happens for a reason and at the right time, for us at least. We don’t rush, we live and that’s the beauty of being us. We don’t go for settle we go for what’s right (now). It might frustrate us sometimes. Sometimes we’re lonely, but we know what we have is what we need at the moment and we are going to shine. We do already, but you know what I mean. Our lives are going to turn out even better than we both could ever imagine. It is great already, cause you know its us and we are awesome 😛 But all will fall right into place when it needs to be.

I think our bond is very special, not a lot of people have someone they are this close too/ connected with. The fact that I found that in my best friend is pretty rare and I am so lucky to have that. I consider myself a very lucky person and I realise some people will never have someone like this in their life.

The funny thing is that we had a rocky start but now we’re rock sollid! I love how these things go. I just to care so much about what other people thought of me, I put in so much energy to keep in touch with people (who appartently weren’t that interested in me the way I was in them) but that’s over now. I do what I want, I love what I do, I love the people that I surrounded myself with. There’s a couple or pretty amazing people in my life and all the people that are in my life or used to be in there have tought me something. I’m a firm believer that you meet people cause you have to. Some will teach you, some you will teach something to, some will hurt you, some you might hurt, some will love you, some you will love and most of them will fall away when it’s time for them to leave your life (or for you to leave theirs). When people disspeared from my life, I used to be sad. Now I know there’s a reason. Luckily I can feel this now and I know who will stay longer than others. I take everyone and everything that happends to me with laughter and knowledge that they/ it happends for a reason. The reason might be unclear, but I know they/ it are/is on my path or me to learn from.

Again I’m so happy to have these amazing people in my life and I trully appreciate what I’m learning from all of them.

Thank you for all the amazing people in my, you are deeply loved ❤

Another #SPN post: Proud to be a FAN

My last post about Supernatural was more about why I watch the show. You can read that in my What is it with Supernatural post.

Today I’ll write something about the conventions and the SPNFamily.
As you all know I got hooked on the show while watching panels from a convention.

I’ve watched a couple of other shows panels and the energy they gave me wasn’t the same as Supernatural. I’ve seen ComincCon panels from Finge and The Vampire Diaries. While watching those, as much as I love those shows, I felt bored. Not that the people were bored and the information given wasn’t interesting, but for some reason they didn’t feel as connected with each other as the SPN cast and crew.

No matter who is on the show and at a Supernatural convention, they all feel like family. They all immensely respect each other and treat each other the same. Of course there’s teasing on and off set, but there’s s much respect between them all. If you look at a Jensen and Ty panel in JibCon2013 (Jared unfortunately had to leave early because of an family emergency), I think it was the Sunday panel, Ty tell the story about (I think it was this) how Jensen asked the crew to ask Ty if he wanted to start with his lines or with Jensens.

Ty told everyone that he never ever had that question asked when he was on an other set. He’s been on so many TV-shows but this was actually the first time a main character asked him something like that. I don’t really remember what he told us, but it was in line of what I just wrote. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR-OG3Het50 THe story I talked about starts at 29 minutes, the rest is awesome as well though 😉

When watching Jensen and Jared’s (J2) panels the only thing you can do is laugh. They are so funny, well all the panels are but still, but they can also be serious. They try to answer the question as honest and correct as they can, even though they must have heard some of these questions a million times. They still respect the person asking the question and are as nice as always. Sometimes when they are starting to answer the question it takes a different course, but in the end they try to answer it. As a fan you can expect loads of humor on conventions, but also so much respect. Every time J2 have to leave they tell the fans thank you and that they love seeing them/us (I haven’t been yet) and even though they don’t see their families a lot they do take time for the fans (family). They really show appreciation towards the fans and all the actors/ crew that make this how possible.

Actors that portrayed only a small role on SPN, and are at a convention, turn into family as well. Richard Spade and Sebastian Roche both had an impact on thee show with their characters, and just because they aren’t in the show any longer, they’re still at conventions and they still have a big impact on the rest of the crew. They are as much part of the SPN Family as the main characters are and that’s shown at all conventions they go to.

It is so funny that there are so many people who don’t know Supernatural. Everyone I meet and tell them about the best show ever look at my with questioned eyes that tell me “you’re crazy”. Most of them don’t know the show and if they hear the name is Supernatural they think it’s a show about “the supernatural”. Which it is not! What it is about you can also read in my other blog. The short version is it’s a show about two brothers and their bond, what they go through and how they connect. Besides that it’s a show about hunting the supernatural 😉
The fact that only SPN fans know about GISHWHES (Greatest Scavenger Hunt the World has Ever Seen) says a lot. While being active in the hunt you realise there’s so many fans worldwide. I realised that on Twitter. Before GISHWHES I had about 100 followers, now I have over 300 (and that’s only because of GISHWHES). When you see another GISHWHES post on Twitter and look at the profile, you’ll notice that most of these profiles are SPN fans.

SPN fans also listen to the same music. Take Jason Manns for example. When you have a ticket for a Jason Manns StageIt (online concert for the fans: http://www.stageit.com) show and ask who is a SPN fan, you’ll get the reaction “You can better ask who isn’t”. This is kinda cool, cause while being a fan of the show you also get introduced to other great artists.

I’ve noticed that when you aks something in a SPN Facebook group or on Twitter, you get the nicest and most honest answers from the fans. They support the show but also each other. Doesn’t matter if you live across the world, if you need something they will give it to you. And that’s why I am proud to be a member of the SPN Family! 😀

The magic of #GISHWHES

Last week was the third GISHWHES hunt and I participated. It was grazy, hilarious, freaking stressful (at times) but so much FUN 😀

GISHWHES means Greatest International Scavenger Hunt the World has Ever Seen (www.gishwhes.com, @whatsgishwhes). It’s a scavenger hunt created by Misha Collins (actor (currently Castiel in Supernatural), CEO of Random Acts of Kindness organization). He wants to create some chaos in the world but most of all he wants people to have fun, use their creativity and crawl out of their daily rituals/ shells and do something completely different. Therefor he invented GISHWHES. It’s international so all teams (15 people per team across the globe) are scattered around the planet. They try to create random teams of people from all over, that’s what makes it great. You can sign up alone or with other people.

When the hunt starts there’s a list that’s getting published for all the teams. When you browse through the item list you sign up for all these things you think you can do. And than the next they you’re freaking out cause it’s sooooo much and you have no idea how to work it all out. After day 2 though you’re on a roll and you’re just having fun and start to create your items. And that’s when the real fun begins 😉

Some people think it’s ridiculous to participate in something like this, but let’s face it: it’s so much fun 😀 It’s not only because it’s fun to do this, but you also help people. You help people get over certain lines they otherwise won’t cross and they really want to. You can get people out of their shell and that’s one of perks off being in a team. People grow in GISHWHES and people let go of the shame on certain items. Like me, I never ever thought I’d like to pose in a photo wearing weird clothes. Now I posed in a wallpaper & plastic outfit and a tea bag swimsuit!

And guess what: I couldn’t care less 😀 I presented my funny stuff to my colleagues the other day, and I wasn’t ashamed or nervous. I told them I thought it was a great cause (get out of your comfort zone and just break free!) and it still feels that way.

We also had to take a picture in a team uniform. As we all live across the world we had to decide what to wear and take a photo. We decided to wear a white shirt, a pan hat and an aluminum foil skirt over jeans. So that’s what we did. And although we all wear it differently it looks great!

Another task I did was making a quilt of dirty old socks. In the beginning I had no clue how to do that but it looked like a fun project so I took it on. I went to all my family member and a couple of neighbors and had loads of socks to quilt. I didn’t know how to put them together so my colleague told me to staple them. I did and that worked a bit. I just more than 1000 staples and when I pulled the quilt of the ground they let loose. I decided to sow them together row by row from the back and that worked quite well 😉 It also was so much fun and quite relaxing 😉 I had Supernatural (what else) on at the background and just sowed. When  was almost finished I came up with another idea, I had enough socks left to “write” a G (of Gishwhes) and a ’13 (of 2013) on the front And it turned out exactly as I pictures. Than it was time to crawl up under it and let it look like it was cozy (that was the assignment). My friend came up with the idea of me looking sick and was just lying on the couch under a comfy blanked. So that’s what we did.

I had so much fun doing all of this and I learned something more about myself also. GISHWHES is great to get to know yourself better. I signed up for a couple of things and later I thought “Oh no way I’m going to do that!!” and than you start to think why you won’t want to do that. Is it fear? Probably! Why fear? Probably because you think that the people who you’ll need for that assignment think your crazy (so you’re trying to think for someone else, which is NEVER EVER a good thing 😉 ), but who cares. If you walk up and explain it in a funny way and you’re really convinced that they’ll help you and that it’s going to be fun, they will help you. They will feel you’re positivity and your enthusiasm so you’ll drag them into that and it’s going to be fun!

I’m definitely signing up next year and I’m sure I can do loads more than. I already have some things I want to work on this year so I’m more prepared for next year, as prepared you can be for GISHWHES that is 😉 Not only as  preparation, but also because I really like to do these things and I love being creative.

– drawing things, people, faces etc. (I like it but do it not enough to be good at it)

– painting (I like to get creative and I like it, but don’t do it enough)

– crocheting, cause it’s fun and relaxing!

– planning parties (cause, why the hell not right 😉 )

– starting conversations with complete strangers (because that’s always a good exercise and it’ll be fun 😀 )

I’m not using my creative side enough. I think everybody is creative and while you’re doing GISHWHES you’ll find out how much you can do and how funny your brain works in putting it all together. You can create what’s in your mind and that’s MAGICAL 😀

The teamwork is also pretty important. The team will help you get through the hard parts and they keep you sane. When you’ve got too much on your plate and have to skip items and you’re freaking out they just tell you: Don’t worry! HAVE FUN! Cause that’s the biggest part of GISHWHES and what they want you to accomplish, just have fun and leave you’re comfort zone and see what you can accomplish in a week. And that is a LOT!!!!!

Our team video will give you a little impression about what we did and what people felt like. It’s not the whole team, but there’s time limits and these where the only video’s that we had. Turned out quite great though!

I think everyone who likes to act crazy once a while should definitely sign up for GISHWHES at least once in their lifetime, hell I think everybody should participate in this hunt even if it’s just once 😀

Thank you Misha for setting up GISHWHES, thank you Jean Louis for keeping Misha in check and thank you to my great team and friends who helped me get through this abnosome week!

Much ❤ and I can’t wait for next year

The amazing world of @CouchSurfing

I’ve been thinking about writing a new post for a few days, I’ve been wanting to write something about CouchSurfing and while I’ve been awake for the last 45 minutes I thought this is as good time as ever to write it down (maybe I’ll even be able to sleep after I’ve got this out of my mind 😉 )

What is CouchSurfing exactly? A lot of people, and also travelers, don’t know about CouchSurfing. It’s a shame cause it really is a good way to travel on a low budget and meeting amazing people. CouchSurfing is an online community where people can share their couch to travelers who need a place to stay. Some people only have a couch for the surfers, others have real beds/ air beds or couches that can turn into beds. Surfers can put in a request to surf on your couch and you have every ability to accept or decline any request you get. You, as a host, can set boundaries (the time they can be in your house, what time they have to leave, what’s to be expected of the surfers, what surfers can or can’t expect from you) and surfers have to abide by them.

Surfers and hosts can, and most of them do, leave references for the hosts/ surfers. This is a great tool to see who is reliable to surf your couch or who is reliable as a host. Hosts and surfers can both be verified and get their identity checked. As a host you can state that surfers have to be verified and checked out by the CouchSurf community (which is easy, but you have to put in a little bit of time to do so)

Some surfers give you something (something from their own country) or do you some favors, some cook, some clean, some do the dishes. Some hosts cook for their guests, some will provide them with drinks or food, others don’t. It’s all open to the host and surfer, which makes it exciting and also different everywhere you surf or whomever you host.

I’ve been hosting since 2008 and this year I’ve got a lot of requests and I’m hosting quite a few people/ groups. I like to give the surfers a place to call “home” when they are away. A safe and comfortable place to just relax and hang out after a long day (of travel, hanging out in the city). I think I’m a good host and I love to meet people all around the world.

The people I pick or accept are the people who I immediately feel connected with, right away from the first message they sent me. I love it when people refer to my profile, so I can see that they’ve really read my profile and know what they can expect when surfing with me. I for instance don’t accept people who are not verified and have no references at all. I can make exceptions, but I rarely do. This is because when I first signed up with CS I thought it was really important for me to show the community I was trustworthy and reliable, so I verified immediately and had my address checked right away. I didn’t even had requests for my couch or feedback, I just thought “If I want to host reliable people, I have to be reliable from the start”.

I’ve never had a bad experience with surfers before. I’ve had some people stay over that I haven’t felt too connected with, but for the most part I did. I also have more experience picking the right people to stay over with me, I can feel a lot more from the way people approach me through a request and when I see their profile I know I am a good fit 😀

My experiences with surfing is none. I haven’t surfed yet. The places where I go to are mostly my international friends and I haven’t needed a place to surf at yet. But if I need to, and I will someday, I am curious where I’ll end up with. The good thing about me having so many surfers here now is that I’m building my own CS network and I know I am welcome to anyone who’s ever surfed my couch, so I probably won’t need a lot of “new” places to surf at 😛

If you are planning a trip and are on a low budget I’d advice to check out CouchSurfing (www.couchsurfing.org). It’s free to sign up, and it’s also free to get verified (or at least it was when I signed up). Check it out! You could also post on the main page that you’re looking for a place to stay and hosts that are available can contact you directly. There’s also events planned for CouchSurfers in big cities and hosts can change their status in “No Couch Available”, “I can hang out”, “Couch Available”, “Traveling”, so you know exactly what to expect from a host!

So again, have a look in the amazing world that’s called CouchSurfing and you’re trips will be even better 😀 Have fun surfing and/ or hosting!!!

Wish: on tour with Bon Jovi

You might think “what the hek does that mean, going on tour with Bon Jovi as a wish”? Well let me tell you what it means and, probably more important, why I want to be on tour with these amazing guys.

First of all I know this is going to happen. Don’t ask me how it will all come to be, but I know one day I’ll go on a full tour with the band Bon Jovi. I just read the book The Secret and it states that if you really want something, can imagine it, feel it as you already got it, that you will get it. The ways to that is unknown, and you shouldn’t go and figure that out, cause than the “magic” won’t work. I’m reading it for the secont time now, cause you really have to get into the flow of believing, imagine, feeling it and I always want to know why stuff happends. The why is not important, as long as you believe in that it will happen (if you feel, imagine and believe it) and that’s something that’s just dawning on me at the moment.
This moment of writing puts a huge smile on my face, cause I know I will go on a full tour with Bon Jovi. Don’t know when, don’t know how it starts and don’t know how, but I know I will and that’s just freaking exciting. Me writing this might be the start of this incedible journey but I’m not going to think about that. I just know and feel in my gut that I have to write down why I want to do this and why this is my wish (not my only wish, but at least one of them ;)).

Okay so why do I want to go on tour with Bon Jovi:
– Why the hell not, right 😀 😛
– I was at their Cologne concert june 22, 2013 and it was an amazing show. At that moment I felt that it must me incredible to go on tour with these guys, and I felt in my heart/ gut that I really want to experience that
– The songs speak to me: the messages is in a lot of the songs are the same. These next ones are the ones most important to me.  “You can get what you want, if you go for it”,  “Don’t be afraid to go afther the things you want” , “Dont be afraid to be different”, “Follow your own path and not the one other people expect you to”. I just realised at the last concert that they have a lot of these songs and they really got to me. Even though I’ve been singing them along for a long time, the lyrics just hit me then and there
– I love to see how the tour is created. I know Jon is a perfectionist and want every show to be different, so there’s a different show for the people who come more than once.
– I want to see the creative proces from the moment they start to think about touring. I’d like to know how a show is bourne and what it takes to build show. Besides that I want to know all the processes they have to go through.
– I want to feel the energy in the band. The energy must be amazing, cause they alwasy rock on stage, and I want to experience it behind the scenes when all is created, how it is right before the show, what they do after the show etcetera.
– I want to see the relationship between the guys. I want to feel their energie when they talk about their work/life and I want to know what drives them to still be in the band. The band is together for 30 years (I’m only 31, so I don’t know how it is to have the same people surrounding me for that long) and I wonder how they keep all that energy flowing. I know they do different things when they’re  not in the studio or on tour (on their down time). I’ve seen the documentary about the band (I think it was made at their 25th year) and saw a bit of what they were doing, but I’d love to talk to them about their other passions and see what drives them all
– I want to write about what I see, feel, experience while I’m with them. I can see in my head how it must be like and I want to know if that’s right.

These are the things I come up with at the moment. I feel like I have to post it and send it into the world, so my wish will get more form in my mind. When I think about more things, which I probably will ;), I’ll add them to this post.

So here it goes, wish me luck, I know I don’t need it cause it’s going to happen anyway, but still 😉

Perfect summer day

Yesterday, June 29, was a perfect day. Me and a girl friend of mine went to the beach as we try to do more often. Finally the weather was good enough to go, even though I would’ve gone if the weather wasn’t good.

Yesterday we went to Bergen and Bergen aan Zee. Bergen is a little town in North – Holland (province in The Netherlands) and next to it is a beach town called Bergen aan Zee.

As we don’t see each other a lot we always have some catching up to do. But we mostly just hang, and do our own thing. We hang out, be our own crazy selfs and just enjoy all of it.

We went to Bergen for a little shopping and a stroll over the Saturday market and then to the sea. After a few mishaps we run into while trying to park we finally were able to sit at a beach club and order something to drink. The wind was chilly but behind glass the temperature was great.

We talked some and than my friend decided she wanted to have a walk on the beach. Like always we do that separately (well I haven’t done any walking yet, I just relax at the club, have a drink and enjoy the sun :))
Before she went for a walk I decided to go to the restroom, that’s where this day got interesting and a lot more fun.
There was this elderly lady who began talking to me when she saw that I have a tattoo. She told me that her daughter (in her 50s) wanted one and that she would give it to her when she made up her mind of what kind of tattoo she wanted to have. Than she asked me if there was any meaning to my tattoo and I explained. I told her I got my tattoo because I needed to get more courage (grow some balls as we put it in Dutch) and just do the things I want and not constantly thinking about what other people might thing about me. I told her I had to suck it up and just be brave. The tattoo I got was already drawn out but I adjusted it to fit me. Now it’s something that fits me perfectly (as one of my best friends told me when I showed her). The lady thought that was great and we talked about some other stuff and when I laughed she told me I have such a beautiful smile and that I was a beautiful girl. When she asked me if I had a boyfriend I said no, than she asked me if I had a girlfriend and after I said no she asked me if I wanted to be her girlfriend just as a joke. That made me laugh even more. I thanked her about the compliment and we parted ways (Love that saying b.t.w ;)).

When my friend was on her walk and I was listening to some music while having a tea and enjoying the sun the lady came up to me cause they’re leaving. She told me to enjoy my holiday (which I wasn’t even on, but still) and that the loved me saying “I had to grow some balls” and she said “You have them girl!” That was awesome, I won’t forget that in a while. I don’t wanna forget either cause that was great.

When we were driving back home I played my new favorite Bon Jovi songs on repeat (and it’s only a couple of song so we hear them a lot) and my friend just kept laughing when I turned up the volume, again, and just started to sing a long. I know I’m crazy and I love that I can be as weird as I am with her. She loved it too though. She told me that it was awesome that I can be so excited about new songs, being a fan (and paying for golden tickets for a Bon Jovi concert or going to a Supernatural convention in the future), and I told her it’s because I just started to feel alive. I haven’t felt I was alive for over 23 years, I think (read this story to find out why). I started living at 23 so I have a lot to catch up on and this is how I do that. I just do what I like and what I want and don’t take no for an answer.

I know I am weird and different and that I like what most people I know don’t like, but I’m finally at that point where I can just say “Fuck it! I don’t care! I like what I like and you like what you like and that’s okay”. I love that all the people around me are different, they all like different things and that’s what makes my life so amazing at this moment.

To all my friends, whether in Holland or not, I love you all and thank you for being in my life. You are amazing!

Lots of love and hugs – Ilse

Bon Jovi june 22 in Cologne

So this post is about a week over due, but still 😉

June 22 2013 I went to a Bon Jovi concert in Cologne and it was, as the earlier concerts I’ve been to, an amazing show. I live in Holland and was doubting how I would to go Cologne. It’s about a 3 hour drive or about 3,5 hours with the train. As they planned construction on the tracks and I could borrow my dads car (that doesn’t run on gasoline but on gas) I figured “what the Hell. I’m taking that car and I drive to Cologne”. I hadn’t driven alone outside of Holland and was a bit nervous, but thanks to my mums navigation system I got there at once, was stuck in taffic for 1,5 in Germany, but that aside. I made it and was proud of myself for doing that.
The reason why I got nervous driving in a “strange ” country has to do with my mum. She’s afraid of driving in a foreign country and I picked that up from her. So THANKS mum!!! 😉
My friend told me a few months ago that “it’s just a road” and she’s correct. The only thing is is that I don’t like to drive in big cities. I don’t take the car into Amsterdam and that’s probably what made me nervous, I didn’t know how big Cologne was and if I had to drive through a big city. I didn’t so that was good.

Okay so the show was amazing! I got a Golden Ring VIP ticket, for once, which meant I stood closer and I could get into the stadium early. I picked up my ticket around 2pm and I also got a tour guide, which was so big I was wondering how to get it home. There was a girl standing behind me and I told her I didn’t expect that book and didn’t know how to hold that the whole day. She told me she brought her backpack especially for that purpose. That was a great idea. I asked her is she was also alone and she was. We introduced ourselves and found out we’re both Dutch! What a coincidence! She told me I could put my book in her backpack, and I was very grateful to her for that. Thanks again Marina!!!!

We hung out for the rest of the day and had so much fun, talking about well everything and when the concert started we drifted apart a little bit, she’s a little shorter than I am and I’m quit tall so we stood where we were both comfortable and could see clear. The concert started with a bang and I screamed, yelled, sang along, jumped, clapped and waved my hands for the whole show. For the first time couldn’t care less about the people standing behind me. That might sounds selfish but I don’t care either.

The only thing that really surprised me was that apparently smoking is still allowed ant that so many Germans smoke. They were smoking one cigarette after another, which kind bothered me in the beginning, especially cause the don’t look around if they bother other people. But then again, most smokers do so I won’t say anything more about that than this “Smoking should be prohibited in all concert, sport matches etc.”

Richie Sambora wasn’t on tour, which I found out the week before. I don’t know what happened and why he wasn’t there, but quite frankly I don’t come to the show for RIchie I go the show because of the band and great songs. Bon Jovi rocked that night and honestly I didn’t miss Richie. He is awesome and I love to see him on stage but this concert was amazing even without him. They sounded like they always do and they had so much fun performing.

It was a magical night. I screamed my lungs out, yelled along every song, jumped, clapped and waved my hands and had so much fun. I made a new friend which is also a big plus and I”m going to another concert when they are back in the “neighborhood” 😉 I really hope next tour they come to Holland, Amsterdam for sure, cause than I can just take my bike and ride there for a change. But that doesn’t stop me for going to them again 😀

Here’s some pics from that night and you can look on YouTube for some awesome vids of the concert. I don’t take videos cause I rather see them play live, but I”m so grateful for the people who take videos and post them so we can relive the concert. So THANK YOU ALL for sharing!!!

I just realized what I coincidence it is that I was kind of nervous about driving and Bon Jovi had an amazing car as a stage. #MeantToBe?? 😉 The drive home went very easy 😀