Oh man, what a ride it’s been these last couple of weeks.
This show about a Charming motorcycle club got it’s hooks into me like no other show has ever done. Never ever have I felt this much watching a show, not even Supernatural. This show has spun me upside down and tore my heart open. It’s been brutal, it’s been heart shredding but over all it’s been real. It felt real and that’s because of the incredible cast and crew. I’ll be forever grateful for them to create this.
As many of you know I love watching movies and TV shows. I love the characters and I connect with them, I learn form them and I grow tremendously while following them. With some characters there’s this bond that is so tight from the get go that I don’t know where it came from or how it happened. I’ve learned to trust these characters come in my life when I need them. There are also times that when I’m just doing my thing I feel and act like them, like I am them and even though I know I am not I feel me being them.
Sons of Anarchy is a series about Jax (Jackson) Teller being part of the motor cycle club Sons of Anarchy in a small town called Charming, California. The show is 7 seasons with 13 episodes (varying from 42 – 70+ minutes). I came across it a couple of weeks ago and the moment I started it got me. I watched it when I could and I was done exactly 2 weeks later. And it left me incredibly sad. These pivotal moments of the show left me literally crying and shaking and it’s been an experience to say the least.
The show is about an mc, drugs, guns and porn. It’s about family, bond, friendship, pain, strength, loss, fear, lies, betrayal, mc code and most of all about love. The love of a man who loves his club and his family so much and seeing it go down hill while he can’t do anything about it.
This is a thank you to Jax Teller, an incredible man with a huge heart who’s always tried to do the right thing.
Thank you Jax, you thought me how to cry again and how to feel again without stuffing it down. I owned it and I sat with all the hurt and that’s been new. As painful as it was, it was incredible all the same.
You showed me the struggle of wanting to do the right thing and trying to the best you can. You wanted to fix something that was already so broken even before you had a part in it. You thought me what it meant to be in a club with a code to unimaginable it’s still hard to wrap my head around. Being pulled into so many directions by the people in your life who all want something different for you. Who all claim to love you but all have different agendas.
You showed me a world I’d never given much thought about and made it real. The love you have for SAMCROW and what you believe it should stand for, where it should’ve gone back too but never quite got there. The love you have for the boys, your boys, your family and the way they all loved you. I’ve never seen so many hugs and “I love you”s in a show or even in real life. It’s inspiring and more people should be able to show that to others. The way you choose to forgive where you can and the hardship of “having to execute” the code is something I don’t know I’ll ever understand.
Your pain, your struggle and your love felt so real and all the crap you went through to try and make it better still breaks my heart. I’m so sorry this was your life, a life full of extremes, full of things that shouldn’t be normal. You might’ve not been able to be a good outlaw and a good father at the same time, but you are a good man, you’ve always been and always will be.
Thank you Jax Teller for changing and being part of my life, it’s going to be very hard letting you go. I love you deeply and will miss you terribly.