This is me

I just watched The Greatest Showman for the second time and all I can say is WOW. The songs, yes it’s a musical, are so spot on and I got emotional a lot. With the songs and what happens in the story. For anyone who hasn’t seen it and don’t want to know anything about it, should not read further. I’m not spoiling much but I write a little outline of the story.

The story is basically about the man who invented the Circus, P.T. Barnum and how he created these amazing shows for people using “unusual” people, outcasts of society and how they became family. The story is still relevant to this day cause people who are different and do “life” different are still made to feel disgusted, shameful and bad about themselves. And that pisses me off and that is putting it lightly. So when I saw that in the film I got mad, really really angry at the people who set that off in me.

One of the songs in the film “This is me” is so good and powerful, it hits me every time I see it. There’s this video about studio pitch (a read through where they basically try to sell the movie to the studio) and it’s a make it or break it day for the whole cast and what happens during this song is, for me at least, pure magic. Everyone is feeling it and I can feel it through the video. There is so much power and so much vulnerability from basically everyone in the room and it’s so beautiful and raw and yes I LOVE it!

The lyrics are about accepting and loving yourself and breaking through the “shame” and barriers of people who “are” normal and that you shouldn’t listen to all those who cannot accept the differences between people and (but that’s the way I see it) are afraid of things they don’t see as beautiful and as basically human. The chorus is:

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me


There’s a lot of people I know too are always looking at what is different about other people and laugh about it. I never got that. I’m different, I’ve always been different, I’ve never done life how you’re “supposed” to live life. Maybe I don’t have a “weird or strange” appearance, but I’ve not lived the way society is portrayed. Like having boyfriends in your teens, having a family in your 30’s and having a career (making good money) and a house in those years as well. I’ve never done that, I never really cared for it to be honest, but I’ve always felt the pressure from everyone about it. It felt like I was (am) doing life wrong. But that is the thing right, it’s MY life and I do it MY way. If you don’t like how I live it, don’t tell me or look at me funny, but just go, leave. If you can’t accept me for who I am and what I do I don’t want you in it. I’m not trying to change people, I like people the way they are. I don’t point out what’s different about that person to others, I don’t see it. All I see is a person, a human being who is living their life.

When I tell people I see movies or TV shows over and over again, I get this look, like “Oh come on, really, you’re weird” and people don’t understand it. But I don’t see the same movie or the same TV show. Every time I do I get this feeling, this amazing feeling (wether it’s really sad or happy or exciting, whatever) and I see a different movie or show. I see new things and I experience it differently.

Also people try and tell me, or explain and justify why they do things or don’t do things. When I talk about my tattoos I hear a lot “Well I might want to have one but……..” and that’s totally fine. Get one if you want to, or don’t if you don’t, I don’t care. I’m not trying to convince you to get one I’m just trying to explain what they mean to me and why I have them or get them.

The moment I start to talk about meditating I immediately feel a defence system going up and people get really really defensive about why they don’t. “Yeah I know I should do stuff like that, but………”, or “I want to try but I can’t empty my mind”, which is not how I look at meditation at all, or “It might be good for me but I don’t have the time….”. Okay that’s totally fine with me, but I’m not trying to tell you that you should do it, I’m just sharing my experiences. And yes sometimes they can be very different and hard to explain, which doesn’t mean I want a disapproving look or a look that I’m not “normal”. If you want me to explain what happens and how I do it, I’m happy to tell you. If you make fun of me about what happens during these sessions I’m not okay with that.

The same with songs or movies or shows. The fact that I like it doesn’t mean you have to like it, but don’t look at me like I’m crazy when I tell you I like One Direction or Bon Jovi or that I’ve seen King Arthur: Legend of the Sword like a 100 times and watched Sons of Anarchy over and over again. Don’t tell me it’s a waste of time and I should go to the gym or do something “useful”. You don’t know why I watch or listen to it, you don’t know what it’s giving me and what it does to me. What you think is “useful” I might think is a waste of time. Do I tell you that? No, cause it’s YOUR life and you live it the way you want to. I don’t have any say in it, and I’m not trying to. Would I tell you I’m worried about you if I am, YES, would I tell you what I think I would do in a certain situation, definitely, but I would NEVER ever tell you what you should do. I don’t know why you do the things you do and what it brings you and brought you to that point, so who am I to judge it or want to change it. I might ask why you made a choice like that, but just for me to try to understand or see where you came from, not so I can start telling you it’s wrong.

Does all of this mean I won’t think about people and all the thoughts I have about people are good thoughts? No, it just means if I think about someone in a certain way, I keep it to myself. They way I see someone is based on my relationship with that person and the energy between us and what is in the past, it doesn’t have anything to do with you so why would I try and put my thoughts about that person on you so you can form an opinion about someone based on what has happend to me? You should try and from your own opinion about someone based on your experiences with that person. And you can change that too. The fact that you don’t like someone now or that you have had a bad experience with someone doesn’t mean that you have to keep that point of view. If you change the way you feel about someone and try and look at it from a different perspective you can change the relationship and have good experiences with that person. You never know why someone is doing something. Someone might accidentally have hurt you because they where in a bad mood or something bad happend to them. Doesn’t mean they meant to hurt you and maybe they don’t even know they did. If you keep holding on to the one instance something bad happend, you will never ever be able to change it to what might become a great relationship.

What I would like in this brand new year is that people would stop looking at other people so much and just experience their own life to the fullest. Why would you want to make fun of someone else and how they look and what they do? Would you like it if someone would make fun of you? NO you wouldn’t. For me that is intentionally hurting people and if you want to do that in my company, you can leave it. If you talk bad about someone in front of me and try to make me go along, keep moving, cause I’m not having it. Be nice to people, be kind, act out of love, share good experiences, ask for help if you need it, try and look at different perspectives, see the good in life and in people and things. I know we’ve been raised with looking at things that aren’t good, but if you look at all the good in life, you can change yours, you can make it better, even if you have bad days.

I would also like to see people try and talk more about how they see things from their own perspective and not like it is like the way they see it. For instance when people say “that is a bad movie or a bad idea, or that person is a bad person”, I would like to see/ hear them say “I think ……. ” and maybe with an explanation or maybe not, maybe depending on the situation. And if people speak from themselves they can maybe open doors into another persons life or at least see where someone’s coming from.

Anyway I think I’ve gotten everything out that I held on to 😉

Go with love, go with life, go with happiness.

Much ❤


Some more Sons of Anarchy

What is it with th  is damn TV show?

I know, I know, I know, I just wrote about Sons of Anarchy a few weeks ago and now there’s another. Why? Because I have to write it, I can’t keep this inside, cause it keeps my mind too busy and I can’t think or feel anything else but this show, these characters, these bonds, this love and hurt. So my only option is to write it down. I don’t know if it’s redundant, but I don’t really care, cause I need to get it out.

The hurt

I think the thing that gets me the most is that it’s about forgiveness and about love. There’s so much stuff going on, so much betrayal, so much hate, so much deception and so much fear about losing the people they think they own. There’s backstabbing, there’s lying and controlling others, there’s “you can’t win because I am better” and “you can’t have that/ that person cause they/it belong(s) to me and me only” that sometimes it overwhelms me how people can be so cruel and intentionally try to hurt other people.

The “I hurt you because you hurt me” and the “look at all that I’ve done for you so you need to do this for me or……” are too common on this show and I wish there was less of that going on. I somewhat understand why they make the choices they make and where that hurt comes from, but I feel bad for them that they can’t seem to find another way to fix whatever it is that’s broken or hurt. I strongly believe the lack of love for themselves is one of the reasons there’s so much hurt or so much needed of possession that it breaks my heart for most of them.

To have such a bad history in your family that the only way out you feel like is to do some horrible things that take away parts of your humanity. And then little by little by the one you love giving you back some parts of what you used to have you get it back. To not being able to talk to each other anymore when you used to tell each other everything.

The way some of those people use people and play with their lives like it is a game and don’t care about the consequences for those people is something I don’t think I will ever be able to understand.

Also the jumping to conclusions man! People know half of the truth and create a story around it. They see something and jump to conclusions before they even know what’s really going on. That’s why most of the people get hurt. Maybe that’s why most people in life get hurt, because they either don’t know the whole story or listen to others telling them a story they don’t know the truth about. There is so much judgement and assumption around that sometimes it’s really hard to see what’s really going on. Maybe we want to hear that particular story to make us feel how we need to feel. Maybe we choose to listen to someone while we don’t really believe them or want to believe them but don’t know where to look for to find the real truth.

The love

There’s a lot of collateral damage and unintentional hurting of others but besides all that and all that hurt and basically people lacking love there is much love in this show. There’s a brotherhood, there’s a deep love between Jax and Tara, there’s trying to be good and trying to do the right think cause you want to do better. The love between the brothers in the MC is incredible. It didn’t start out like it, but around S4/ 5 it becomes more and more clear how much they all love each other. Not that in the earlier seasons that didn’t exist but it was different.

Because of all the incredibly hard choices that have to be made and all the horrible things people feel like they have to do there’s a lot of forgiving. Understanding why people have to do certain things and forgiving them for them. To feel like you have to do horrible things to protect the people that you love and forgiving them when they feel like they see no other way.

Accepting kindness and being grateful for it while turning into something or someone you would rather not become keeps you from totally losing yourself into the darkness.

Jax and Tara have an incredible bond and such an incredible love that it’s inspiring. How it all ended broke my heart, it still breaks my heart thinking about all the things that happened to them and how they tried over and over again to make a right decision, to get out of the live, but also to love each other so deeply that it hurts and you want to do right by the other, to want to stay with each other even though you know something awful might happen. To be so honest to each other that you know every single detail, all the bad and all the good and still stand by each other and that it doesn’t matter. All the little things they do, the looks, the hugs, the honesty, the touches as little as they are, mean so much. And that even though in the end they had such an incredible hard time they still let their love for each other win. Jax making the sacrifice to give himself up so that Tara and their boys could be safe and out of trouble. It makes it feel real and something to aim for.

To have a group of people you spend time with daily who love you so much is something I wish I had. I have a lot of love in my live, I have so many friends/ family scattered over the NL, UK and US and I love them dearly but I wish I had them all closer. To have a clubhouse we’d hang out after work or whenever and could sleep there if we wanted it too. To have gatherings, parties and just plain fun with the people I love the most. I should try and figure out how to accomplish something like that and to set up such a community will be something I’m really going to think about and set my mind to.

For now it’s time to let this show go. Let the characters go, give them a place in my heart and move on. It’s been an emotional ride for a few weeks and even though it hurt like hell, I’m so glad I found Jax and was a part of his journey.

Me and two weeks with the Charming m.c.

Oh man, what a ride it’s been these last couple of weeks.

This show about a Charming motorcycle club got it’s hooks into me like no other show has ever done. Never ever have I felt this much watching a show, not even Supernatural. This show has spun me upside down and tore my heart open. It’s been brutal, it’s been heart shredding but over all it’s been real. It felt real and that’s because of the incredible cast and crew. I’ll be forever grateful for them to create this.

As many of you know I love watching movies and TV shows. I love the characters and I connect with them, I learn form them and I grow tremendously while following them. With some characters there’s this bond that is so tight from the get go that I don’t know where it came from or how it happened. I’ve learned to trust these characters come in my life when I need them. There are also times that when I’m just doing my thing I feel and act like them, like I am them and even though I know I am not I feel me being them.


Sons of Anarchy is a series about Jax (Jackson) Teller being part of the motor cycle club Sons of Anarchy in a small town called Charming, California. The show is 7 seasons with 13 episodes (varying from 42 – 70+ minutes). I came across it a couple of weeks ago and the moment I started it got me. I watched it when I could and I was done exactly 2 weeks later. And it left me incredibly sad. These pivotal moments of the show left me literally crying and shaking and it’s been an experience to say the least.

The show is about an mc, drugs, guns and porn. It’s about family, bond, friendship, pain, strength, loss, fear, lies, betrayal, mc code and most of all about love. The love of a man who loves his club and his family so much and seeing it go down hill while he can’t do anything about it.

This is a thank you to Jax Teller, an incredible man with a huge heart who’s always tried to do the right thing.

Thank you Jax, you thought me how to cry again and how to feel again without stuffing it down. I owned it and I sat with all the hurt and that’s been new. As painful as it was, it was incredible all the same.

You showed me the struggle of wanting to do the right thing and trying to the best you can. You wanted to fix something that was already so broken even before you had a part in it. You thought me what it meant to be in a club with a code to unimaginable it’s still hard to wrap my head around. Being pulled into so many directions by the people in your life who all want something different for you. Who all claim to love you but all have different agendas.

You showed me a world I’d never given much thought about and made it real. The love you have for SAMCROW and what you believe it should stand for, where it should’ve gone back too but never quite got there. The love you have for the boys, your boys, your family and the way they all loved you. I’ve never seen so many hugs and “I love you”s in a show or even in real life. It’s inspiring and more people should be able to show that to others. The way you choose to forgive where you can and the hardship of “having to execute” the code is something I don’t know I’ll ever understand.

Your pain, your struggle and your love felt so real and all the crap you went through to try and make it better still breaks my heart. I’m so sorry this was your life, a life full of extremes, full of things that shouldn’t be normal. You might’ve not been able to be a good outlaw and a good father at the same time, but you are a good man, you’ve always been and always will be.

Thank you Jax Teller for changing and being part of my life, it’s going to be very hard letting you go. I love you deeply and will miss you terribly.

Meeting Jared and Jensen: Take two

I know it’s been a while since VegasCon, but hadn’t found the time to write about it yet.

Vegas 2016 for me started on Friday before the convention. I’ve met up with my friend at the airport and we stayed at an Extended Stay hotel across from the Rio. I thought the bus would take us to The Strip easily and fast, but that didn’t turn out to be the case. I discovered Uber and I loved it: Just order on your phone and the ride is there to pick you up at your location and drop you off wherever you want to go. No payment needed.


Saturday and Sunday basically where some recuperating days and Sunday night we went to a show: Tournaments of Knights and it was hilarious. It was a dinner show set in King Arthur times so that meant no utensils, just eating with your hands. Which I loved every second off. While eating that chicken I thought: I’ve always wanted to know how it felt to eat like that and now I knew.

Later that night we got some tickets for KA and did some gambling. Tuesdays we went to the Luxor ahead of the show and played some slots, what turned out to be fun and we won some cash.
After dinner we’ve got some drinks before the KA show and the show blew our minds. WOW! Those are some incredible artists. A couple of rotating stages, amazing special effects and on top of that the outstanding performances.


Wednesday before registration we met up with some more  friends/ family for dinner, where one of them proposed to the other, which was perfect and amazing and I’m so glad I was able to witness this special moment.
At registration we met up with an amazing person who was standing behind us in line and became instant friends. I am fortunate enough to call her my family too.

Thursday the convention started and Richards opening was again epic. He didn’t have his sidekicks Rob Benedict or Matthew Cohen by his side but that wasn’t noticeable at all. Right than and there he started the “High Church of the Holy Dicks”  and everybody loved it.
Panels on Thursday and Friday where so good I laughed almost those full days. Gil had the “weirdest panel ever”, almost fell off the stage, Osric came out in a suit and Karaoke was a blast, like last year. Jason had an amazing panel with songs and questions, Brianna and Kim had a panel where I was cracking up the whole time. Hilarity galore 😀 Saturday special was amazing and definitely special. Everyone who showed up was at their best and made it great.

Sunday: J2day


Sunday is always J2’s day, which meant Jared and Jensen are in the house for their panels (2 if you have Gold, 1if you don’t), auto’s and pics. I got a pic with Jensen and shared my Jared op with my friend. Meeting Jensen again was a little nerve wrecking beforehand cause of last year. Last year I was totally fine right before the picture and I froze. I could barely get a “Just a hug, please” out and even though I love the photo from last year, I wanted a “real”  hug this year. I knew if I kept “bear hug”  in mind I’d be fine. I was one of the first 50 people to get the photo taken and it was right after the gold panel. At the end of the panel I started to get really nervous and my thoughts where running wild: “We are almost the same height, how can we have a bear hug and a cool photo?” “Oh I hope I can get a word out”  where the thoughts that ran my mind. I was standing in line between two girls who’s never been to a con and told them it would be great, the boys are amazing and you can ask them almost everything. My mind kept racing and than Jensen came in, talked to Chris (photographer) for a bit, took his time with people who couldn’t stand in line (cause they where either in a wheelchair, on crutches or elderly) and that was so nice. Chris also makes sure that he takes the best picture ever for that experience, so if he can make it better by holding your crutches in one hand and his heavy camera in the other, he’d do that.
So while standing in line, observing all that and having my mind racing I told myself to quit it. Last year went great, Jensen is a lovely guy and he’s just a person. A person who inspires me a lot, but still just a human being. So I took a minute to take some breaths, felt myself in that room in that moment and calmed myself down. When it was my turn I looked up said hi, got a hi back and I think I asked for a plain old hug or a bear hug (the exact words I don’t remember) I opened my arms and took a step, which made him laugh and he went in for the hug too. I laughed, looked at Chris, got the picture, looked back, thanked him and than tanked Chris and I walked off with a huge grin on my face.

These are the pics of VegasCon2015

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Later that day we had our Jared op and for some reason I’m never nervous meeting him. Last year was great and this year was great too. I shared my op with my friend and it was a lovely picture like last years. After Jared’s op I figured I’d take a look if the Jensen photo’s where already done and to my surprise it ended up the best photo ever!
So here’s the ops of this Vegas Con:

JaredJenn&I Jensen&I

Overall I laughed so hard I still felt my abs a week later, I could spend time with amazing people, had two perfect photo ops and was able to thank the boys again.

Next year they will hold a convention in Hawaii which will be the first time ever in SPN con history. Even though I am so fortunate to have gone to two Vegas Cons already and I have so many great memories, I’d like to be able to go to Hawaii too. Just because it’s a first time thing and I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii anyways so why not start or finish it with a convention 😀

Media perception …….

I have been talking to a friend about the affects of being in the public eye and I wasn’t going to pay much attention about all the made up information that people get to see or the very inappropriate questions these people get from reporters/ paparazzi and all that, but it keeps bugging me. So I figured why not write it all down. The first draft was full of emotion and mostly frustration towards the media. As I trying to be a person who always tries to look at the positive things in life and in every situation I chose to rewrite it somewhat.

Why is it so hard for media and paparazzi to leave artists alone? I chose not to use the word “famous” cause I don’t like it. These are all artists or athletes/ performers whose life have been turned upside down and sideways and for what? People make stuff up as they go about these incredible people (yes all these people are incredible and an inspiration to at least some), these people inspire/ help/ save peoples lives and this is their thanks? That’s just so incredibly silly to me. All those people are performing an art, they do what they love and maybe some of them want to have the attention, I don’t know, I haven’t asked them and I don’t know their lives, they want to show the world their craft and because they want to share it with the rest of the world and people know off them, know their name and maybe a couple of facts, they get all this negative attention thrown at them. For me that seems pretty unfair.

Look at this incredible insensitive clip where my first reaction was: WTF, what have they done to you to call him that!

I’m glad the boys from One Direction are mature enough to handle a question like that, but the reporter? Come on! Can’t you really find a nicer way to introduce your “story”?

People might say: “Yes but they chose to be this person”. I don’t agree with that. Yes they chose this craft, they chose this line of “work”, if you can call it that, because they love it. They (well I hope most of them and at least the people that inspire and have made me change) didn’t choose to be well known, they didn’t choose to be “famous”. They just wanted to share their stories with others and that’s incredible. That’s something we should be grateful for, cause without them there wouldn’t be any music, movies, TV shows, there wouldn’t be any new stories to tell, there wouldn’t be characters we can relate too, there wouldn’t be emotion we could drown in, there wouldn’t be heartbreak, laughter and all that. So WHY is it so much to ask to leave these people alone.
Interviews to ask about their projects? Yes I’d love to know their thoughts on it. Meetup with “fans”? Yes, cause it works both ways, they inspire us and they create from what they learn from us or they simply want to give back. All the rest? No, that shouldn’t matter. As much as I’d love to learn about them from them, like in interviews (I know they’re all media trained and know what not to say, I do think however they give show us who they are in some extent)

When I see videos created by fans, like the one above, about their inspiration with the difference between the media version and the “real” version I feel really sad there’s still so much “information” being spread that’s hurtful and probably not very true. The only people who know what happend are the people involved and if they choose not to share that with the rest of the world, that should be fine. For me it is. Do I say I know the people I admire or the people who inspire me? No you won’t hear me say that. I know I don’t know them, I know what they show me in their interviews and panels and behind the scenes, their concerts and their own created videos they post online. That’s where I get my information about them. I read it in fan encounters, which might be subjective too, I know, but I also know they’re probably more accurate than whatever “news” site who got their information second hand. I wish someday I could sit down with any or them to just talk about stuff, life, what’s going on, what’s on their minds, their tattoos, what’s life like on the road, or just sit and hang.

I also think it’s a shame so many reports about these people are negative. Why not throw around some positivity. If you’re gonna make up a story (and yes that’s a judgement) about them, why not create some amazing positive vibes. That’s what we all need in our lives. Laughter, fun, love, caring people, craziness, just random fun stuff, not breaking people down, judging them for the way you see them.

So spread love, any kind of love! Love is Love and it always wins!

Peace out!

Time for photo ops and autographs….. Blown away in Vegas (last part)

Saturday and Sunday I had photo ops planned for a couple of the actors. Jared and Jensen ar such a huge inspiration of mine that I had to give them a hug, so to get a photo of that was just a plus 😉 Before the convention I was extremely excited to be able to hug all the amazing people and at the same time I felt a calm rush over me cause I knew the pics would turn out great.

Saturday I had my ops with Mat&Rich, Matt&Gil and Matt solo. I know right! I walked up to Matt&Rich, stood in the middle and it was over. Said hi and bey and that was it. Than with Matt&Gill the same. I noticed that Matt tiptoed to look taller than me and he did that in all my ops. The solo I walked up and just asked for a hug and he gave me a huge hug and, again, tiptoed, which was awesome.

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So I thought “Saturday went fine, so Sunday with J2 will be easy” well guess again 😀 I stood in line for Jensen’s and I was actually nervous, out of all of them Jensen is my biggest inspiration, with Jared as a close second, very close second. I stood in line and there was an older woman in front of me and she was really nervous. I wasn’t really that nervous much but I picked up on all the nerves from everyone else. I told the woman she’d be fine, they are amazing and that she could wait for me and we could hug it out.
She had her pic, but I didn’t see what she did though. Than it was my turn and I walked up, said hi, Jensen said hi back and actually looked at me! And I just blurted out “Just a hug, please” which Jensen responded with “Well okay than” and I grinned like an idiot, I think, and than I said thank you and he said you’re welcome and I looked away.. And than I lost my breath, I couldn’t breath and I think I had sort of a panic attack, but a good one 😀

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I yelled, screamed, hugged it out and it was all good. Than my J2 sandwich was perfect. I had no nerves anymore and I walked up, asked if they could hold my grandpa’s license plate, they did, pic was taken and than I said thank you. Than Jared started talking and I thought he asked me about the license plate, so I started to respond and the moment I said it was my grandpa’s I realised he talked to one of volunteers, they had asked him something. I than immediately thanked them again and got out of the way for the next person in line.
Jared’s was easy. I walked up with “just a hug” and he gave me a huge hug.

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Later that day I had autograph sessions with the boys too. I let other actors sign in a book about the fandom, but for Jared and Jensen I had something different in mind. Because they are a hug inspiration I decided I wanted them to know that they are. So I wrote down why the inspired me and let them sign those pages. I told them both that this was for my inspiration board and Jensen replied to “That’s amazing” or awesome I don’t exactly remember what it was, but it was good and he liked it. And than Jared, oh poor Jared was sick and he had to step out for a bit, but he came back and finished all these autographs (another reason to love them even more, they want to do this, even when they are nog feeling well). He read what I wrote and thanked me, he thought it was very sweet. I told him to get better soon and again he said thanks and that was it.

I can’t believe how nice these guys are. I know it, it’s been said over and over and over again, but if you haven’t experienced it you don’t know how kind, appreciative and truly wonderful all these guys are. They look at you when you say something, they actually hear what you’re saying and they are sincere. They want to be there. I pick up on feelings from other people so I can feel if they weren’t really interested or wanting to be there. All I felt was pure love for each an everyone of us, for the fans for each other, for the guest stars, for the volunteers. As all the guest stars have been saying, these guys want to give back, they want to know us, they are a part of us, we are a part of them. We are all in this together and that’s mind boggling. I don’t tink any other “fandom” has this. But that’s why we’re not called a fandom but a family right??

Okay I’m going to stop talking now, cause I can go on and on an on about this. All I wanted to say is: I’m so damn proud of us and our boys and the cast and crew and all the people in this family. I picked the most epic convention as my first, and maybe my only one, and I’m truly grateful I got to experience this.

So that was it, you know it all know, it took some work to pul all these posts together, but I finally was able to do so. Hope you liked them!

Have an amazing day/ night.

Blown away in Vegas ….. the Supernatural universe (part 1)

Incredible talented cast, panels and what not …… Blown away in Vegas (part 2)

Incredible talented cast, panels and what not …… Blown away in Vegas (part 2)

Almost everyday of the convention Richard Speight Jr, the host and also known as “The Trickster” and “Gabriel” from the show, and Louden Swain (the houseband for every convention, lead singer Rob Benedict, a.k.a. “Chuck” from Supernatural) performed the rules and regulations song. They figured rules and regulations where boring so they decided to create a song for these occasions:


The conventions are full of panels. Panels where the actors are on stage and interact with the fans. They can ask question that the actors will answer. In Sebastians case no questions will ever be answered, but he’s giving such a hilarious panel that it’s all worth it.

The panel that surprised me the most was Travis’ on Thursday. He is such an amazing person! He talked about a lot of things, his 3 chiuawa’s, his time training in the military, his PTSD and how he got over it, about how great the guys (J2) are and about his charity.

Osric touched the subject gratefulness. He said that being grateful and not just say thank you can change your whole life. And that’s what he is, he is grateful for this opportunity to interact with so many people and if all they need is a tweet, hug, kind word, for someone to make them feel better, he’s happy to give it.

What amazes me the most about all these guest on stage is how they talk about Jared and Jensen and about the fandom/ family. Travis told us that Jared and Jensen don’t’ have any ego and that they truly like to be apart of the fans life, that they truly care about the guest actors and that they treat them all the same.

I’ve read it more times than I can count, but to hear it again (live this time) makes me awe more. And makes me feel so much more proud to be part of this incredible family.


Gold patrons Cocktail Party

Later that night at the cocktail party we’ve met Tyler, Osric, Lauren and Travis. They sat at our table for about a minute, just to chat.

Earlier I was getting a drink and started talking to someone behind me in line. I went to sit with him and his friend and his son and we had an amazing talk. I was the only girl sitting at that table at the time and when Osric and Lauren moved to our table there where two other woman, who left after that.

When Travis came up to our table he was really incredible, he is such an incredible and nice guy. He joked about me being the only lady at the only table with only guys and he seemed so genuine. He thanked all of us for coming to these conventions and for supporting him in his acting. I thanked him for his lovely panel and I’m still blown away by his gentleness and his kindness.

karaoke kings

Friday night karaoke

Friday night is always karaoke night at the conventions. This is unique and Matt Cohan and Richard Speight Jr created this amazing night for all the fans to be at. It’s full of hilarity and amazing performances from cast/ crew and fans. Check it out:

Saturday night special

Just like Friday night’s karaoke the Saturday night special is special. It used to be only a Louden Swain concert, but than guest stars started appearing on stage and it turned out to be an amazing concert night. This was the best concert I’ve ever been to and it was epic on so many occasions. Louden Swain is the house band and I don’t think any other convention has a band on stage for the whole time, also during panels. Heres some amazing footage of this special and epic night:

Jason Manns & Rob Benedict (Chuck). Jason is a friend of Jensen and Jared and know he’s a friend of us all. Jason is usually not at the convention, but Creation asked him to come in for a Sunday night concert, because the band had to leave early on Sunday. Jason and Rob sang an amazing Hallelujah.

Gil McKinney (Henry Winchester). Gil started singing last year and he knocked it out of the park. No one knew he had a singing back ground and after this he decided to follow this road. He’s moving to New York soon and his dream is to be on Broadway someday. And I’m for sure he will be. He is amazing, with an amazing voice.

Osric Chau (Kevin Tran). Osric started out singing not even a year ago and he was so nervous about that than, it’s hard to imagine that he was shy, watching this.

Sebastian Roche (Baltasar):

Thursday and Friday where amazing and this Special was already so special it couldn’t get any better, right? Wrong, we had a blast and than this happend:

That’s correct, that’s our lovely Jensen Ackles rocking the house. Take a look at Jensen’s “road to being a rock star”, which started 5 years ago when Jason Manns sort of set him up to sing on stage. His first time ever performance:

He’s been coming up on stage a little more in the last few years but a couple of months ago he did this, and he was still a bit shy:

Jeffrey Dean Morgan (John Winchester) had never ever attended a Supernatural convention, so to have him come on stage was amazing! It’s not that he never wanted to come, it’s that he is such a busy actor that there was never time. But because of this is the 10th year anniversary Creation Events tried their best to get JDM to Vegas and they made it all happen. The look on Jensen’s face when JDM got a standing ovation on Saturday night was priceless. He was so damn proud to have him on stage and that the crowd reacted the way they did.

Sunday: the big day

For the people who have Gold tickets see the J2 (Jared and Jensen) twice, once in the morning (breakfast/ lunch depending on their schedule) and than later in the afternoon there’s a panel for everyone with a ticket. J2sday is, depending on their schedule, on Saturday or Sunday. This time it was on Sunday and it was a blast! Jeffrey Dean Morgan had a panel on Sunday too and Samantha Smith (Marry Winchester) stayed an extra couple of days just so the family reunion could occur on Sunday. This was the first time ever they where all there on the same day.

The gold panel of J2:

Than we had JDM:

And right after that was the J2 panel:

This is just the first part, the rest isn’t online yet.

So this is basically what a convention looks like. Than there’s the ability to get autographs and photo’s with all the cast. There’s been a lot more panels, which some of them you can find online and some are not filmed, but I think you get what it was all about.

The feelings you get the moment you step into this convention bubble is just overwhelming. Everybody here loves the same thing, when you freak out about something or someone people don’t look at you weird, they actually understand what you’re going through. And that is special. We all love and adore this show, these guys and each other. The convention is not Supernatural the TV, it’s the world surrounding the show. It’s hard to describe exactly how it feels, cause it’s so amazing and big and unheard of but the feelings you get of the video’s is just a small amount of the feelings you actually get when you’re in that other universe, that other world.

To read about my photo ops and autographs click on the link below.

Time for photo ops and autos….. Blown away in Vegas (last part)

If you want to read what led up to this incredible adventure click this link:

Blown away in Vegas ….. the Supernatural universe (part 1)

Note: NONE of the video’s are mine, I found them all on YouTube. There’s a ton more to find there and if you’re interested I’d advise you to just look for Supernatural Conventions. They will guide you from there to more and more and ….. yes more 😀

Have fun!