So why is it so hard not to judge other people? I’ve been asking myself this question a lot and I have no direct and clear answer. Maybe it is because we don’t want to look at ourselves or maybe we are afraid of looking at our own lives.
A few months ago I started to change my life, to be more positive, to be humble, to be more kind, so see the beauty that life really is but I noticed recently that I still look at other people and have my opinion about that person. It is not that I want to do that, but for some reason I do. When I see someone wearing an outfit I wouldn’t wear when I had that figure my thoughts go to laughing about that, for my standard, ridiculous outfit. I have the same with reactions people have to events or other people. I start thinking about what I think they should pay attention to instead of dwelling on this subject. I also notice my own negative attitude towards events, reactions, stories and so on. It’s not that I am completely negative, not at all. I’m more positive and see the beauty of life and feel myself change for the better every day. I see the magic that is life and I enjoy life a lot more than I used to. I just realize I’m not where I want to be at this moment.
A reaction I would like to have when I see something wear an outfit I wouldn’t is “WOW, I would like to have the guts to do that and wear that. Good for you that you feel comfortable enough to wear that!” I don’t have these reactions all the time but I notice that I do. I know the first step in changing yourself is to acknowledge your reactions so that you can change, so that is a good thing. I also know that change doesn’t happen overnight, which is something that I do not like. I want to change right now but I now that is not possible. Even though you could change right now the change would not last, cause it’ll be a quick fix, which is never good. I’d rather sustain my changes for a lifetime rather than just change for now and relapse in old habits in a few months.

I know I’m getting there and I know I shouldn’t dwell on the fact that I’m not there yet. I am proud of the person I am now, the progress I’ve made in the last few months, years even, so I shouldn’t complain at all. I know I’ll get at this point soon. I also realize that it’s not a bad thing to not always be positive. There’s no such thing as living a 100% positive life and that there are ups and downs and that’s fine. That’ is life. There’s people who life a positive life for sure, but they have doubts and uncertainties, fights and down days, but mainly they are positive. On the other hand there are people who have a very negative life, but they have hope for a better one and they have better days too. I used to be in the latter, now I’m at the beginning of the first group.
As said before, I know I’m getting there, every day is a step forward and I’m proud I can see the change an be the change.