Last Saturday I had an interesting day about intuition. What is intuition for me and when do you listen to it and when not. I act a lot on my feelings, but I didn’t know if that was the same as my intuition. After this day I think it is. My gut feeling always tells when something is wrong and I believe that is the same for me.
They told us that there’s a moment we’ve been working hard and the intuition is in the moments when we calm down, take a step back, relax and enjoy, stand still. That moment is also a moment when creativity happens and manifests in each of us. If we work too hard and don’t relax and get in touch with ourselves, we can’t find our intuition. It gets buried deep inside of us and because we can’t find our inner peace and calm we can’t get in touch of it anymore. So to stand still, take a deep breath and relax we can find what our intuition is saying to us.
We did some yoga and meditation and some techniques where pretty interesting and I will keep them in mind. Like looking at your future self and pretending to talk to a very old and wise person, than switch roles and give advice or an answer to me. Amazing what came out of these few exercises. An other meditation technique was to find your future self (in about 20 years). We could ask ourselves everything and it was interesting what answer I got. I got an the answer to take a step back. My future self felt really calm at her place, right where she needed to be. She was happy and content and felt peaceful. The thing I notices was we were in a house that I’ve been imagining too. So that was pretty interesting that she/ I was/ am living in my dream house in 20 years.
There was this exercise where you had to give away control of your legs. We had to lie down, relax and the other person had to lift our legs and make circles with them. We had to give away control, which was really hard. I felt like I was falling down and was completely out of balance, which was quite uncomfortable and very rough on my back. I liked the exercise though, cause you could really feel how much you want to be in control and how hard it is to trust someone else.
The last thing we had to do is to write down our saboteurs and let them ride with us in the car. The biggest one had to sit next to us and the other in the back seat. I had to start the car and they had to tell us the lines we prepared for them and we had to act on it. So they said the thing that we think about, why we can’t do something or what’s holding us back, and than we explain why we can do what we want and set our minds too. It was funny to experience that it was pretty hard, for me at least, to talk to these doubts/ negative feelings/ statements and say out loud what I wanted and that it will happen, and that I want to go for what I want. At the end I made it and it felt GOOD 😀
I’ve been talking to a few people about my dreams at the workshop and also about my being stuck and almost having a burn out. I want to cry and when I feel it come up and I accept it being there and think “Okay let’s come” it never does. Maybe I shouldn’t think about it in those moment, and just let it be, but that’s so hard. Maybe it’s because I am in control when I say it’s okay. I should learn to let these feelings in and share them when I need to. It’s okay to cry when I want to cry, even if it’s not convenient.
I got back a lot that it’s a strength that I have such an insight in myself. I know at what point I’m standing in my life now and that things need to change and that I should be proud of that I recognise that I need rest and need to take of myself and resolve what ever issues I still keep dragging with me. It’s time for me to get ready to give it all a place and let all the sadness and anger out. It’s all old but it’s still there. I feel I can scream sometimes, but I’m too afraid to do that. I’m thinking to much about what other people might think of me when I do that. But that’s something for a different post, this one was about this amazing day of discovering how to listen to my intuition and act on it and what the things are that keep me from following this.
A few things that I’ve notices about myself were pretty surprising but also very calming. I noticed that I had eye contact with other people a lot more than I normally have. I normally pay attention and hear what other people have to say, but eye contact is something that I barely notice doing. I know I’ve been flying all over with my eyes when I normally talk, but I kept having eye contact and felt comfortable to do that. I felt safe doing that.
The other thing that I never ever do is answer a question first. But this day I did. When the asked about our experiences after the exercises I usually was the first person to speak. I don’t know, the first time I was a bit nervous about that. But later I wasn’t. I wanted to share my experiences (just like I do with this blog) and it felt safe to do. Not that in other environments I don’t feel safe but I used to feel scared to say what I have to say. But not this day, so there’s an other plus 😀