Dean Winchester: how are you still standing?

After my last post about Supernatural Season 9 I figured it was time to write a post about Dean Winchester. I’ve been a Dean girl from the beginning I got hooked. Thoughts about writing a post about Dean have been in my head for quite some time so I thought, why not write it down now. The fact that this post isn’t about Sam doesn’t have anything to do that I don’t like Sam, I love Sam, but there is something about Dean that pulls me in.

Dean’s always been taking care of his family, from when he was 4 years old when their mother died. He carried Sammy out of the house and he’s been carrying Sam through the seasons. Even when Sam went to Stanford and wanted to get out of the life, Dean never really let him go. He left him starting an other life, but when Dean needed him he went and got him and never let him go.

The thing I love about Dean is that he stays human. He hasn’t changed a lot the last 8 seasons. He’s grown up more and he’s showing more feelings, but other than that he still fights for everyone that’s important to him and for the right cause. His moral compass is always right and even though he wanted to give in/up in Season 5 The Point of No Return he never has.  He never wants to let people down and even though he’s hurting he can still see straight.

I admire him that he’s been through so much (went to Hell, Purgatory, saw The End) and he’s still going. He must feel guilty about all the souls he tortured in Hell (even though we haven’t seen that guilt in a long time), the people that died because of them (Ellen, Jo, Pamela, Bobby, Meg, Frank, Sara to mention a few), the fact that he had to let Lisa and Ben go and forget about him, the fact that he was the first one to break a seal so that the Devil’s gate could open, that John Winchester died so he could live, the first time Sammy died and he had to make a deal himself to get Sammy back, leaving Cas in purgatory, letting Benny to go and save Sam in purgatory. I bet he still feels that he should’ve died and that Layla should’ve lived (in a great episode named Faith). I think that was the first one that actually made him feel really guilty. Also the fact that he couldn’t protect Sam from the pain of losing Jessica, his demon power, Sammy having to kill Madison, the blood addiction, killing Lilith, Ruby, Sam going to Hell, soulless Sam, that he was dead set on returning Sam’s soul no matter the consequences, the fact that Sam got hurt because of getting his soul back, the fact that Dean didn’t got the chance to do the trials in stead of Sam and that that broke Sam in more than one way. I don’t know how he’s still alive and kicking.

Also the fact that he makes so many hard decisions and thinks that he’s a grunt and doesn’t deserve happiness always gets to me. He is the one who always takes care of everybody else and makes sure the hard things are done. One of the episodes that really got to me was 2×20 What is and was Should Never be where Dean was “dreaming” about an other life. He got sent to a “happy” place where Jess and his mother were alive and happy. He sees how live can be and how happy the people he loves are. He had to make the hard decision to “snap out” of it, cause he knows that it isn’t real. He wants to stay but he knows that’s not the right decision for him and he goes back. That fact might still bother him too.

Dean sees more than other people. He observes and knows how to follow his gut. When he thinks/feels that things aren’t right he follows through and finds out if his feelings were correct and acts accordingly. Whether that means that someone could get hurt in the process (like killing Mrs. Tran when being processed by Crowley, he didn’t hesitate to kill her.) Dean can point it out very well by saying: “It would’ve sucked and I would’ve hated myself, but what’s one more nightmare right”.

I know Dean can be a jerk and act not so stealthy, but his heart is in the right place. His toughness defines him and I think that’s what kept him alive this long, what kept him human. Okay he was affected by Veritas, the Goddess of Truth (6×06 You Can’t Handle the Truth), Ghost sickness, a Specter (8×06 Southern Comfort) for holding grudges mostly about Sam not looking for him being in purgatory, but he’s never been possessed like Sam has (who has been possessed by Meg, Lucifer, Demon blood) and he hasn’t really been manipulated (he always had this voice in his head about Ruby, which turned out to be right). He’s been human all along and although he needs Sam I think it is because he doesn’t want to live without his brother. Not necessarily because he thinks with Sam he will be human and that they keep each other human, but just that he can’t live without him.

His humor is an other thing that pulls me in. Both Sam and Dean have comedic moments, but Dean’s are just insane. The fact that he can always throws in a line or a look (no matter how bad the situations gets) is amazing. That is of course the doing of Jensen who portrays Dean as no other actor can. I believe this character is made for Jensen and that there is no one out there who can’t play Dean the way he does. But that also applies to Jared playing Sam. No one can portray these character better than these guys and that fact that they are on an off screen brothers is what makes this show great and keeps me (and probably the rest of us) drawn in.

My hopes are that his righteousness keeps him going and that he will fight no matter what. I also really hope that he finally will be able forgive himself for all the things he did or all the guilt that he has left. He deserves to be able to let all of it go and just move on to the next event in his life. I also hope that this season he will get a break and that Sam isn’t staying mad at him that long. I know Sam must be furious when he’ll find out what Dean did, but Sam would’ve done the same for Dean if he were in his shoes.

To close this post I want you to read the following. I’ve found this great summary about Dean on Twitter today that totally says what I’m trying to say. Check it if you’d like. I don’t know who made it, but it wasn’t me. If you do know who made it, let them know I’m glad I found it and was able to use it. If they mind me using I can take it down easily 😉

Hope you had a fun read and if you have any remarks or questions just let me now!

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