Perfect summer day

Yesterday, June 29, was a perfect day. Me and a girl friend of mine went to the beach as we try to do more often. Finally the weather was good enough to go, even though I would’ve gone if the weather wasn’t good.

Yesterday we went to Bergen and Bergen aan Zee. Bergen is a little town in North – Holland (province in The Netherlands) and next to it is a beach town called Bergen aan Zee.

As we don’t see each other a lot we always have some catching up to do. But we mostly just hang, and do our own thing. We hang out, be our own crazy selfs and just enjoy all of it.

We went to Bergen for a little shopping and a stroll over the Saturday market and then to the sea. After a few mishaps we run into while trying to park we finally were able to sit at a beach club and order something to drink. The wind was chilly but behind glass the temperature was great.

We talked some and than my friend decided she wanted to have a walk on the beach. Like always we do that separately (well I haven’t done any walking yet, I just relax at the club, have a drink and enjoy the sun :))
Before she went for a walk I decided to go to the restroom, that’s where this day got interesting and a lot more fun.
There was this elderly lady who began talking to me when she saw that I have a tattoo. She told me that her daughter (in her 50s) wanted one and that she would give it to her when she made up her mind of what kind of tattoo she wanted to have. Than she asked me if there was any meaning to my tattoo and I explained. I told her I got my tattoo because I needed to get more courage (grow some balls as we put it in Dutch) and just do the things I want and not constantly thinking about what other people might thing about me. I told her I had to suck it up and just be brave. The tattoo I got was already drawn out but I adjusted it to fit me. Now it’s something that fits me perfectly (as one of my best friends told me when I showed her). The lady thought that was great and we talked about some other stuff and when I laughed she told me I have such a beautiful smile and that I was a beautiful girl. When she asked me if I had a boyfriend I said no, than she asked me if I had a girlfriend and after I said no she asked me if I wanted to be her girlfriend just as a joke. That made me laugh even more. I thanked her about the compliment and we parted ways (Love that saying b.t.w ;)).

When my friend was on her walk and I was listening to some music while having a tea and enjoying the sun the lady came up to me cause they’re leaving. She told me to enjoy my holiday (which I wasn’t even on, but still) and that the loved me saying “I had to grow some balls” and she said “You have them girl!” That was awesome, I won’t forget that in a while. I don’t wanna forget either cause that was great.

When we were driving back home I played my new favorite Bon Jovi songs on repeat (and it’s only a couple of song so we hear them a lot) and my friend just kept laughing when I turned up the volume, again, and just started to sing a long. I know I’m crazy and I love that I can be as weird as I am with her. She loved it too though. She told me that it was awesome that I can be so excited about new songs, being a fan (and paying for golden tickets for a Bon Jovi concert or going to a Supernatural convention in the future), and I told her it’s because I just started to feel alive. I haven’t felt I was alive for over 23 years, I think (read this story to find out why). I started living at 23 so I have a lot to catch up on and this is how I do that. I just do what I like and what I want and don’t take no for an answer.

I know I am weird and different and that I like what most people I know don’t like, but I’m finally at that point where I can just say “Fuck it! I don’t care! I like what I like and you like what you like and that’s okay”. I love that all the people around me are different, they all like different things and that’s what makes my life so amazing at this moment.

To all my friends, whether in Holland or not, I love you all and thank you for being in my life. You are amazing!

Lots of love and hugs – Ilse

Bon Jovi june 22 in Cologne

So this post is about a week over due, but still 😉

June 22 2013 I went to a Bon Jovi concert in Cologne and it was, as the earlier concerts I’ve been to, an amazing show. I live in Holland and was doubting how I would to go Cologne. It’s about a 3 hour drive or about 3,5 hours with the train. As they planned construction on the tracks and I could borrow my dads car (that doesn’t run on gasoline but on gas) I figured “what the Hell. I’m taking that car and I drive to Cologne”. I hadn’t driven alone outside of Holland and was a bit nervous, but thanks to my mums navigation system I got there at once, was stuck in taffic for 1,5 in Germany, but that aside. I made it and was proud of myself for doing that.
The reason why I got nervous driving in a “strange ” country has to do with my mum. She’s afraid of driving in a foreign country and I picked that up from her. So THANKS mum!!! 😉
My friend told me a few months ago that “it’s just a road” and she’s correct. The only thing is is that I don’t like to drive in big cities. I don’t take the car into Amsterdam and that’s probably what made me nervous, I didn’t know how big Cologne was and if I had to drive through a big city. I didn’t so that was good.

Okay so the show was amazing! I got a Golden Ring VIP ticket, for once, which meant I stood closer and I could get into the stadium early. I picked up my ticket around 2pm and I also got a tour guide, which was so big I was wondering how to get it home. There was a girl standing behind me and I told her I didn’t expect that book and didn’t know how to hold that the whole day. She told me she brought her backpack especially for that purpose. That was a great idea. I asked her is she was also alone and she was. We introduced ourselves and found out we’re both Dutch! What a coincidence! She told me I could put my book in her backpack, and I was very grateful to her for that. Thanks again Marina!!!!
Marina&I

We hung out for the rest of the day and had so much fun, talking about well everything and when the concert started we drifted apart a little bit, she’s a little shorter than I am and I’m quit tall so we stood where we were both comfortable and could see clear. The concert started with a bang and I screamed, yelled, sang along, jumped, clapped and waved my hands for the whole show. For the first time couldn’t care less about the people standing behind me. That might sounds selfish but I don’t care either.

The only thing that really surprised me was that apparently smoking is still allowed ant that so many Germans smoke. They were smoking one cigarette after another, which kind bothered me in the beginning, especially cause the don’t look around if they bother other people. But then again, most smokers do so I won’t say anything more about that than this “Smoking should be prohibited in all concert, sport matches etc.”

Richie Sambora wasn’t on tour, which I found out the week before. I don’t know what happened and why he wasn’t there, but quite frankly I don’t come to the show for RIchie I go the show because of the band and great songs. Bon Jovi rocked that night and honestly I didn’t miss Richie. He is awesome and I love to see him on stage but this concert was amazing even without him. They sounded like they always do and they had so much fun performing.

It was a magical night. I screamed my lungs out, yelled along every song, jumped, clapped and waved my hands and had so much fun. I made a new friend which is also a big plus and I”m going to another concert when they are back in the “neighborhood” 😉 I really hope next tour they come to Holland, Amsterdam for sure, cause than I can just take my bike and ride there for a change. But that doesn’t stop me for going to them again 😀

Here’s some pics from that night and you can look on YouTube for some awesome vids of the concert. I don’t take videos cause I rather see them play live, but I”m so grateful for the people who take videos and post them so we can relive the concert. So THANK YOU ALL for sharing!!!

Stage&Me
I just realized what I coincidence it is that I was kind of nervous about driving and Bon Jovi had an amazing car as a stage. #MeantToBe?? 😉 The drive home went very easy 😀

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Keep te Faith

Amazing lights

Inspiring and confronting day

4YoungPeople SummerSchool 15-06-2013

Today I’ve had another inspiring but confronting day. I’ve met a lot of amazing people and I’ve learned something new about myself.

I signed up for the workshop “Op Volle Kracht Vooruit” (Full Power …..). This day for me was to figure out what I want and what I need to do to figure out what I want. We’ve learned a lot of cool things and some of us were confronted by things.

First of all we had to draw a picture of who we were or where we wanted to go, what a wish was. We talked about that in little groups (there were 11 people in total in the group) so we could explain what we drew.

Than we had to write down what we thought were our talents.

Later we had to stand across from each other and try to picture what the person across from you was good at. What his/ her strengths were. After that exercise we could check what the two had in common. If what we thought where our strengths were actually seen by other people as well. Mine were accurate and some things that were pointed out surprised me that people picked that up. I’m not going to get into more detail with that one.

There was a little part where we had to feel what tight energy felt like and what relaxed energy felt like. We had to put our arm on another’s shoulder and cramp up all our muscles, the other person had to pull the arm down. That took a lot of energy, on both sides. Later we had to find our CHI, and totally relaxed put the arm back and tell our self that “they won’t be able to pull my arm down”. We had visualise. That didn’t take any energy.

After writing down our strengths we had to figure out what stood in the way of getting our dreams full filled. Those exercises where hard and confronting. My biggest one is that I can’t make any decisions and that I’m always doubting what I’m going to do next. Pretty exhausting that is, let me tell you 😉 I never really realised that until I had to dig deeper and find my “spark, drive”. Why do I do what I do, what do I believe in.
I picked enthusiasm and positivity, but I wasn’t able to explain why. Those words came up but I didn’t know why. Maybe because I was looking at it all wrong. I didn’t go deep and find was I was looking for in myself, what I wanted to do. I started with that I had a dream and from there on out I wanted to find my spark. Which apparently was  pretty hard.
We had to present our findings with the group, which was also a big step and hard to do cause I didn’t really know what I had to say. When I told my “on the spot made up” story I was all over the place, it wasn’t a logical story. I have a lot of interests and don’t know what I really want. Our coach Pim (Positief Ingesteld Mens, Positvely Mindset Man) told me that I needed to make a discission and the moment he said that I was like “Yeah duh, I know that, but there’s to much to pick from”. I was afraid I would  make the wrong discission, but as Pim nicely pointed out, there is no wrong decision if you want to move forward 😉

After our little presentation he handed us all a wooden board. On the front we had to write down what holds us back and on the back where we wanted to go/ what our wish was. I couldn’t figure out what one thing I wanted on the front and the moment that I realised I couldn’t decide I thought “AHAH! That’s it”.I knew at that moment that that’s a big part of what drains me, I can’t decide. I literally felt that sucking my energy. So that’s a good thing. When we were done write our board he thought us about punching through it. He wanted all of us to break our board. After a few people broke theirs I was thinking “Fuck It, I’m going to break mine too”. I was kind of sceptic about me breaking it, but that’s always good I figure. I handed the board over and said “decisiveness” is going to have to go. I stood there not thinking about the board at all, even though I was quite nervous about standing in front of those people watching me. I didn’t think about the board, only about the punch and I did it! I broke the freaking board! It was amazing.

A few people didn’t break the board and made the decision not to try again. That was brave also. To do what you want and not think for other people, pick a side and stick to it, no matter what other people might think. The people who weren’t able to break theirs were strong to stick to their decision not to go again. Theirs will break eventually, I’m sure of it.

I needed a day like today, I’m an other bit closer to finding out who I am and what I want to do in life and also what my pitfalls are. But if you know what it is you can work on it. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do! 😀

Annoying people at the movies

I love to go to the movies. To sit in the dark and let the story/ action/ feeling fill up the room is like magic. Because of this I go to the movies a lot. I have a discount card so I can go unlimited to all the movies I want to. There are a couple of restrictions with that card, but all in all I’m happy with it.

Today I went to #Fast6, 3rd time :D, with a friend of mine. I know I’ve seen that movie two times already, but still I love watching some movies over and over again. Especially in IMAX: that sound is amazing!! So imagine watching a great movie and in the row in front of you there’s people talking/ whispering most of the time. When I hear someone talking a few times I don’t really care, I do that sometimes as well. But COME ON, the whole time!!! That’s just annoying.
I was getting irritated and felt frustration building up inside of me and I thought “No way I’m going to let those girls ruin my movie night”. So I leaned over and said “If you don’t like it please just leave” and I got a response something like “I do like it ……” I didn’t pay attention to what she was saying but after a couple of minutes they were quit.

I know it wasn’t the best movie ever, but if you go to the cinema that means you want to watch a movie right? So why keep talking, you can do that outside or on your own couch. Don’t annoy people with your talking. Considering other people when you do that, cause they also pay to watch a movie without interruptions or annoying people.

An other thing I really really hate when I’m in the cinema is CELLPHONES! Why would you want to watch your cellphone when you watch a movie? I have no clue. Mine is almost always turned all the way off in the cinema. Some people can’t get enough of their cellphone cause the have to pull it out every minute and check if they have messages or beter yet call someone. While in the movies! Are you crazy???? Why would you do that? I don’t understand that. You go out and go sit in a dark room to cut yourself of of all things and people, cause you want to watch a movie, right? Well I guess some people don’t.
If I see people grab their cellphones for the millionth time I get up (if it’s near me) and tell them to shut it off cause it distracts me. Some people find me annoying and a bitch for doing that, but hey I also payed to see that same movie and I don’t want to be interrupted by cellphones and talking.

So that’s it. Most of the time I try to stay positive and feel light, but this subject really bothers me. I try to not let it bother me so much, but as said before I love movies and cinema’s and I don’t want to be interrupted by people who obviously couldn’t care less. For those people I’d like to say: “stay out of the cinema if you don’t want to or otherwise act accordingly, we movie lovers would appreciate it a bunch”

And hereby I swear I’ll try to ask people to be quit or put their cellphones away more polite. I know I can come off as a bitch when I tell people they bug me, but then again it’s the heat of the moment.

So this was my rant for today.

I wish you all a very good night/ morning/ day etcetera, I’m hitting the hay and wish I have very nice movie dreams.

-xoxoxo-