Getting in touch with my Intuition: an interesting day trying to figure it out

Last Saturday I had an interesting day about intuition. What is intuition for me and when do you listen to it and when not. I act a lot on my feelings, but I didn’t know if that was the same as my intuition. After this day I think it is. My gut feeling always tells when something is wrong and I believe that is the same for me.

They told us that there’s a moment we’ve been working hard and the intuition is in the moments when we calm down, take a step back, relax and enjoy, stand still. That moment is also a moment when creativity happens and manifests in each of us. If we work too hard and don’t relax and get in touch with ourselves, we can’t find our intuition. It gets buried deep inside of us and because we can’t find our inner peace and calm we can’t get in touch of it anymore. So to stand still, take a deep breath and relax we can find what our intuition is saying to us.

We did some yoga and meditation and some techniques where pretty interesting and I will keep them in mind. Like looking at your future self and pretending to talk to a very old and wise person, than switch roles and give advice or an answer to me. Amazing what came out of these few exercises. An other meditation technique was to find your future self (in about 20 years). We could ask ourselves everything and it was interesting what answer I got. I got an the answer to take a step back. My future self felt really calm at her place, right where she needed to be. She was happy and content and felt peaceful. The thing I notices was we were in a house that I’ve been imagining too. So that was pretty interesting that she/ I was/ am living in my dream house in 20 years.

There was this exercise where you had to give away control of your legs. We had to lie down, relax and the other person had to lift our legs and make circles with them. We had to give away control, which was really hard. I felt like I was falling down and was completely out of balance, which was quite uncomfortable and very rough on my back. I liked the exercise though, cause you could really feel how much you want to be in control and how hard it is to trust someone else.

The last thing we had to do is to write down our saboteurs and let them ride with us in the car. The biggest one had to sit next to us and the other in the back seat. I had to start the car and they had to tell us the lines we prepared for them and we had to act on it. So they said the thing that we think about, why we can’t do something or what’s holding us back, and than we explain why we can do what we want and set our minds too. It was funny to experience that it was pretty hard, for me at least, to talk to these doubts/ negative feelings/ statements and say out loud what I wanted and that it will happen, and that I want to go for what I want. At the end I made it and it felt GOOD :D

I’ve been talking to a few people about my dreams at the workshop and also about my being stuck and almost having a burn out. I want to cry and when I feel it come up and I accept it being there and think “Okay let’s come” it never does. Maybe I shouldn’t think about it in those moment, and just let it be, but that’s so hard. Maybe it’s because I am in control when I say it’s okay. I should learn to let these feelings in and share them when I need to. It’s okay to cry when I want to cry, even if it’s not convenient.

I got back a lot that it’s a strength that I have such an insight in myself. I know at what point I’m standing in my life now and that things need to change and that I should be proud of that I recognise that I need rest and need to take of myself and resolve what ever issues I still keep dragging with me. It’s time for me to get ready to give it all a place and let all the sadness and anger out. It’s all old but it’s still there. I feel I can scream sometimes, but I’m too afraid to do that. I’m thinking to much about what other people might think of me when I do that. But that’s something for a different post, this one was about this amazing day of discovering how to listen to my intuition and act on it and what the things are that keep me from following this.

A few things that I’ve notices about myself were pretty surprising but also very calming. I noticed that I had eye contact with other people a lot more than I normally have. I normally pay attention and hear what other people have to say, but eye contact is something that I barely notice doing. I know I’ve been flying all over with my eyes when I normally talk, but I kept having eye contact and felt comfortable to do that. I felt safe doing that.

The other thing that I never ever do is answer a question first. But this day I did. When the asked about our experiences after the exercises I usually was the first person to speak. I don’t know, the first time I was a bit nervous about that. But later I wasn’t. I wanted to share my experiences (just like I do with this blog) and it felt safe to do. Not that in other environments I don’t feel safe but I used to feel scared to say what I have to say. But not this day, so there’s an other plus :D

Teen Wolfs Season finally

I was hooked till the last 15 minutes of the episode. Start to finish the whole season  was amazing, until the last 10-15 minutes of the season finally! What the hell happened??????

There were two major things happening that got me annoyed. First of all the Nugitsunay(??) storyline ended abruptly. The moment they figured out how to end it was over, way too easy if you ask me. They could’ve made it more interesting, but they chose not to, I wonder why?

The other thing was the ending. When in the series has Derek ever asked Stiles for advice? I know Stiles knows more about the difference between sleep and being awake than the rest, but still. Why was Stiles in school? Didn’t he have to rest, he must have been tired from his whole experience, but i can understand if he wants distractions, so i can get over that.

What I can’t get over is that ENDING!! Bringing Kate back, wth, this isn’t The Vampire Diaries!!!!!! Not watching that show any longer either, but i didn’t expect TW to go down this road. Peter being back I could understand, cause it helped the story, but this is just grasping at straws to make it interesting. If they couldn’t come up with something better, they should’ve pulled the plug. This was such a good season and now they’ve ruined it……

As much as I love Scott, Stiles, Lydia, Derek, Coach (he was awesome!!!) and even Peter, I think I’m out.

Sorry guys, but I can’t watch a good show go down.

SPN Blade Runners

Last night the newest episode of Supernatural was aired and here’s my thought’s on it. Overall I thought it was a great episode, the acting was amazing and it was well written.

However I thought that there was some redundancy and the thing that I really dislike about TV-shows is their redundancy. What I’m talking about is Crowley, they double crossed them again, seriously? They weren’t expecting that even what they’ve been going through in the past with Crowley. That Dean is a bit of his rocker is obvious, cause he really doesn’t care (I talk about that later) but Sam really must’ve known Crowley would’ve had his own plan. That was something that I really didn’t wanna see. And besides that Dean is the owner of the blade, why isn’t he able to “zap” it over to him at will (or maybe that’s because he doesn’t know how to use that part of him yet).

I was glad to see that Sam noticed the affect the Mark of Cain had on Dean and that he was able to pull him back from where he was heading. What I hope is that not everything is forgiven from the last episodes. I hated to see the brothers in a rift, but I will not accept it when it’s all over now, I haven’t seen the strain in this episode and I hope we’ll see it next one, cause I’m sure it’s still there. It has to be, it can’t be over like this not after everything that’s been said. Sam did notice that Dean’s affected by the First Blade and the Mark of Cain but I think and I hope that at some point Dean can disappear, like Cain can, and that he just doesn’t care anymore. He is becoming a killer (we’ve seen bits and pieces about that in the last couple of episodes and I really like where that’s going) and I really like seeing him change, Dean being affected by something else other than Sam’s pain or mistakes.

What I hope is that Dean will be able to disappear and just goes crazy, obsessed with his blade and not being able to get found by Sam or anything. I want to see what happens between them than and how they both react to that. We just watched Sam with a bit of a concern, but I believe the rift will grow and that’s a cool thing to look forward to. Don’t get me wrong my feelings are all over the place watching these two get hurt or in pain, but it would be interesting to see how that’ll work out. I’m sure they would play it perfectly, cause they always do.

As much as I love Crowley, I hope they are able to kill him soon, cause this double crossing them is getting too obvious and old. I hope they either cure him or kill him….. He was so great on his bender last night and his being hooked on human blood. I still don’t get how Dean hasn’t been able or wanted to cure him. They know how to do it and I know that Sam can’t because of the trials, but Dean is (or least he was before his Mark) able to cure him. Now he probably don’t care about any of it, cause he stopped caring about anything, well except Sam and Baby (obviously, and WHY did they have to do that to her????? ;))

It is amazing though that I totally have no clue about what happens or how the story will evolve and it’s amazing that a show can still do this in it’s 9th season. I don’t believe the story about Dean and his mark will be resolved in this season, oh I hope not. I do think that the Angel and Heaven storyline should finish in this season. Metatron is such an annoying person and I really not feel him being a part of this story, it is now, but I think it’s better when he’s not around and Heaven is open again, cause with heaven closed all the souls are still stuck behind the vail and that’s not a pretty sight (as Kevin pointed out).

Too blind to see

I just realized something about myself, but what else is new right ;)

The thing that I realized is that my whole life there where, in fact, people who did liked me. I always thought that no one ever liked me, but come to think about it, that was not true. Because of all the bullying I went through I was too blind to see otherwise.

Family of course liked me, but that’s the point of family right ;) I had a couple of friends or as I would like think, people who didn’t hate me and tolerated me, the people that hung out with me. I don’t think they hung out with me out of pity, but because they really wanted to hang out with me. So that means they liked me right ;) And that’s a good thing.
I don’t remember a whole lot of my youth and I think that might be still the thing that draws me to high school tv shows and movies. I never had that high school experience that most people had. Now I don’t care that I hadn’t cause that must have been so hard too. I don’t mind that I barely remember any of my school years, they were never fun for me anyways, but I have peace about it now (as you can read in my story about being bullied) and it is okay.

I have a good life and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Even if someone would ask me if I’d do it different, I would say no. Cause if I would do something different I wouldn’t be where I am right now and wouldn’t have been able to do the amazing things I have been doing the last couple of years and I probably wouldn’t have been this strong. I have great people in my life and I have an amazing future ahead of me and I’m going to make my dreams come true and that’s all that matters. As Tim Riggins in Friday Night Lights liked to say “No regrets” oh and “Texas forever” but the latter I’m not so sure about, like the saying though :D

Have a good night y’all!

-xoxoxo-

Acting class 8/8

Sorry if I haven’t written right away at Wednesdays last acting class, but there there is a reason for that. The reason I haven’t written a post about the last acting class is because I didn’t go. The last class wasn’t last Wednesday but the week before.

I’ve been nervous for going to that class since day one. I got over the nerves and went anyways the rest of the days, but the last day I really didn’t want to go. I had this feeling in my gut that I shouldn’t go, but I didn’t know why I didn’t want to go. I thought to myself, why am I not going? Is it because I’m afraid or is it because it doesn’t feel good, even though it’s the last class. I talked to some colleagues of mine and they said, just make a decision. If I didn’t want to go, why was it, would I go just to prove other people that I could show up even though it didn’t feel right to go? I was thinking about the other people more than myself. I needed to do what I thought was correct and not think about what other people would think of me if I didn’t go.

I asked my friend what I should do and she asked me a simple question (I’ll write the nicest words down ;)). She asked: are you afraid to go or are you just really really hating it to go? I told her the latter, if I’m scared of something I do it anyway, but this really didn’t feel good. Than my colleague walked by and asked what we’re doing and I told her about my decisiveness. She asked: Does it give you energy in the end or does it drain you if you go? I could easily tell her it would drain me. So I decided. I wouldn’t go. And it felt GOOD. I made a decision just for my and not for other people. I did what felt right and while walking home a weight was lifted and I was proud to make this decision, just for me. After that I thought about it and I still stick my it and I’m not even thinking about what the other people there might’ve thought about it. And that’s what makes it different than other decisions I took in the past. I always weighted other peoples opinions, or at least what they might think about me, and not listening to my own feelings or acting upon my own instinct. So all in all it was a good day :)

It wasn’t my style of teaching. I am sure there are a lot of people who like being thought like he did, but it wasn’t for me. I get that we have to do the same thing, so we could get better at it, but his way of getting us out of our comfort zone were a bit to raunchy for my taste.

I think I’m gonna try sometime again, but than I would like to know what the curriculum looks like and how the course is being thought so I know I’ll make the right call. Either way I learned a few things and I did my best and I know what I can in acting. I also know where I stand and what I need to work on if I go take an other course, but that’s something to think about later.

For now I’m glad I took the step to take acting class, see where my boundaries lie and how I would act in some circumstances. I know it helped me get to the point of standing up for me in “real” life and also follow my gut so it’s all plusses for me :D

Dean and his Mark

I’ve got a few theories about Dean and his new found Mark. It all starts when he’s in Hell torturing, and maybe even before that. It’s a long story, and it might not be very fluid, so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make to much sense….

“You can’t escape me Dean, you’re gonna die and this is what you’re gonna become” I think he partly became that Dean when he went to hell and “liked” the torture. I don’t believe he really liked the torture, but I think he embraced it, because he really had no other option to embrace torturing souls other than being tortured himself. I think, knowing Alistair, he has been torturing souls that weren’t bad in the first place, so the “I made a deal with the devil” people, who weren’t bad but just made a bad call. I wish I could think it was only really bad people Dean had to torture, but knowing who made him torture I’m afraid he didn’t… And no matter what it were still souls, no matter how bad of a person it would’ve been, it’s still torture and it still was horrific, no matter if it was deserved (torture is never deserved anyway, but you know what I mean….)

Dean shut himself off of everything in Hell (and maybe he pretended to like torture, cause it’s easier to do something really bad with a smile on your face than not) and also after he came back. I also think that the horseman told him he was already dead inside because that’s what he really felt. He shut of his feelings because it would hurt to much if he let any feelings in. I think Dean might’ve been dead long before John died. Dean has been saying he was tired of this life from the first or second season and I think Dean died a lot when his mom died, Sam left for college and than John died. I think that all affected him not in a good way. I think his childhood (taking care of Sammy and being a good soldier) made him (feel) dead inside.

Dean told Cas something like “if I get in there, you’re not gonna like what’s coming out”. He didn’t change  while trying to torture Alastair, he couldn’t because he was feeling guilty about all the souls and he didn’t want to get back to that “person”. He pulled himself out and that’s why he couldn’t get through to Alastair, which I think is amazing, cause he could’ve just let everything go and became a torturer again……. I think that there’s still a piece of Dean we haven’t seen, but it’s not in the pit, it’s stuck deep inside of himself (although Alastair said: “You left a part of yourself back in the Pit, lets see if we can’t get the two of you back together shall we?”). Dean feels so bad about what he did and he doesn’t want to think about it, but it’s still in him. He buries everything that he doesn’t want to talk about or think about but he needs to remember what he did, how bad it got, so he can do better and be a better hunter. That is what I think. It’s not in Hell, it’s in himself and sometimes he might need to do things he really doesn’t want to and than he will pull something out of himself so he can do the things other people can’t, if that makes any sense……..Maybe we get to see it when the Mark of Cain progresses to change him…

Cas asked Dean: “Why do you think you don’t deserved to be saved?” I think he always felt second place to Sam. He was the one who had to take care of him, no matter what happened, take care of Sam. He’s been feeling guilty all his life. His whole life revolves around Sam, he’s feeling guilty and responsible for everything Sammy had to go through and he will always have his back. Dean is just going through the motions, living a live, protecting Sam. Making sure Sammy is okay and for the rest of it, who cares what happens to me… That’s so sad though, but that’s Dean and that’s why I Love him, that makes Dean Dean. It’s hard to look at but it’s amazing at the same time. .

I think Cain told Dean he was worthy of the Mark because he really is. He is his brothers keeper, he went to Hell for his brother and basically Cain did the same right. He didn’t want Able to go to Hell so he killed him so he could go to heaven. And than he became Lucifers puppet, until he met his wife. I don’t think it’s because of Dean torturing in Hell, I think it’s about not feeling worthy about being alive and he couldn’t care less what happens to him as long as his brother is safe… In the Croatoan episode Dean said, again, he was tired of this life. The only reason I think Dean is still “standing” is because he made a promise when he was very little. The promise to “Take care of Sammy” and he’s never done anything less than taking care of him. Even when Sam didn’t have a soul, when he was addicted to demon blood, when he was with Ruby, during the trials, skipping the last trial, tricking Sam into saying yes to Zeke/Gadreel and so on.

So according to the bible Cain is the father of murder now, which isn’t good, but hell was not very pleasant as well ;) The fact that the Mark makes sure Dean doesn’t have any family left (I read somewhere that that’s also an affect of the Mark) makes him a better killer. Cain made sure he only killed demons I believe, so Dean can do that too… I think his time in Hell may have prepared him for this …..A shitty new live but be doesn’t care about himself anyways so why not some more burdens to bare and guilt to cary and whatever right (I think as Dean now, not as myself…)…. I don’t think Dean can suffer any more as he does right now. He’s filled with guilt and I think that’s why he is a perfect candidate for the Mark of Cain, I don’t think Cain would’ve given Dean the Mark if he knew he couldn’t handle it. Cause Cain is not a bad guy, he want’s to do good so I think he picked the one person who could handle the Mark the most which obviously is Dean. Maybe he still is a bit dead in side…

I’ve read that Lucifer made a deal with Cain to kill Able so that Able didn’t get to Hell. So I think Lucifer gave Cain the Mark so he could do bad stuff and create monsters. Cain created the Night’s of Hell right? So that must’ve been a command of Lucifer.. I’m still confused about Littlith though, cause she was the first demon right, but than she must’ve been as old or older as Abadon, cause Cain created the first Night’s of Hell, or was Lillith made by a Night of Hell??? Wow now I’m confused………Okay back to the point.. I don’t think Lucifer is giving any orders anymore, cause he’s still fighting with Michael in the cage. I have no ideas or clues about what his influence on Dean will have…….. ohhhhhhh shit I just came up with a theory which will freak the hell out of you, so SORRRYYYY in advance!!!!!!

What if Sam will say YES to Lucifer again???? You know “The End”, “no matter what details you alter, we will always end up back here”? We know Sam and Dean are drifting apart, what if Dean gets so dark he opens up Lucifers cage so he could posses Sam (cause Sam already said yes to him once so I don’t think he need his permission again right, but than again Gadreel asked permission to enter his “first” vessel so I might be wrong) and than when Dean has to kill Cain the Mark will disappear and Dean is all alone again trying to get Sam back……… I don’t know, it just popped up in my mind, something like that…. So back to the point.

I think the Mark already is slowly affecting Dean, well maybe it’s affecting Sam a bit more now (remember the distancing of family because of the Mark?) than it is Dean, but I think it can’t change to fast, cause otherwise people will notice to quickly and can do something about it. I think that’s the whole point of the Mark. Slowly changing  you and the people around you so they wouldn’t question what you’re doing and than just leave when they had enough and than you’re all alone. I’ve noticed Dean is getting quicker (remember him throwing knives) and his decisions about what to kill (remember the phishtaco lady….) I think Dean will kill Abaddon with the help of Crowley, I also think he will kill Crowley after that but he can only do that while he is still somewhat like he is now. When he still has morals and knows what’s right. I don’t know how dark he will and can get, but I hope he doesn’t destroy the bunker, cause that’s where all the knowledge is right….. Ohh wow another creepy thought: if Dean really becomes “evil” he might not like all the knowledge in the bunker and he might want to destroy it so Sam, or Charlie or whoever can find the information to save him from the Mark……. I really hope that when Dean gets “evil” the bunker will “spit” him out and he can’t enter, so all the knowledge is saved and he can be too….I don’t think Dean will ask Sam to save him, cause he probably believes that he won’t. I think Dean won’t notice when he turns or changes, I think he might get off of the radar so that Sam even doesn’t know where he is and can’t find him. I think there will be a great rift between the brothers, both don’t care for one or the other and someone else will have to save them both.

Dean will get a lot darker when Sam is pulling out more. Sam has always been Dean’s anchor, remember at the end of The End Dean tells Sam “We keep each other human”? I think that’s what happening here. Sam is pulling out slowly so Dean is getting less and less human. It would’ve probably happen sooner, if they weren’t this close but now with the Mark it’ll happen soon. I think Sam is also a bit confused about what he is doing or what is happening to him. Remember when he walked away to his room when Kevin left? He was hesitant to open his bedroom door and was doubting if he would enter or get back to Dean, he chose to get into the room, but I think he really didn’t want to though…..

As long as they are still on jobs together there’s a chance they will be okay. I’m just afraid that something might happen soon, that Sam decides to quit working with Dean. I don’t know why, maybe when he will kill Abaddon or Crowley and he goes off the rails when doing that.

I have no clue about how Cas will react. I know he will be pissed at Dean, but I also think he might understand why he did it. I don’t want Cas to have the answer though, cause it’ll be a quick fix and that’s something I don’t want for Dean. I want to see him struggle, I want to see his dark side, his really really dark side, I want to see how much different he is when he is evil and I want to see how manipulative he can be when he is evil. I think that will be quit interesting. I also think they might not even get to save Dean when season 9 ends. I hope it won’t cause it’s a good storyline. I think this season is about the rift between Sam and Dean and I think next season they might be able to help each other and get back together again. I really hope they’re gonna kill Metatron, cause I really really don’t like him! I don’t hate people, but he is so annoyingly bad I want him dead as soon as possible.

I don’t think Cas will have a lot of time to see Sam and Dean, but that’s also because they won’t get in touch with him. Sam doesn’t know or care what will happen to Dean so he won’t call Cas. And Dean won’t get in touch with Cas, cause he doesn’t know what’s happening to him and has other priorities. 

I read Dean is the only one who can kill Cain with his own blade and while having the Mark. I don’t think it matters so much that he might get 7 times more of guilt and suffering, because he couldn’t care less. He’s been suffering so much already this won’t be anything new for him.. Maybe the moment Dean kills Cain Cain can remove the mark from Dean? I don’t know if that’s a possibility but maybe the Mark leaves when Cain dies, that sounds nice, doesn’t it :) That does mean Sam won’t have to save Dean though, and maybe that’s how it’s going to turn out. I don’t know, I think this season the brothers aren’t going to save each other when they need to. Well unless it’s on a hunt, but that’s different.

I think it’ll be a long season (and we only have 8 episodes left). I really hope they only finish the Angel storyline this season and not de Mark of Cain one, cause there’s so much to explore with that one.

Michael vs Dean & Cain vs Dean

Michael, Cain and Dean are so much alike. I realized that watching the conversation between Michael and Dean in “The Song Remains the Same”:

Michael: You are my true vessel not my only one.

Dean: What’s that supposed to mean?

Michael: It’s a blood line.

Dean:  A blood line?

Michael: Stretching back to Cain and Abel. It’s in your blood, your fathers blood, your families blood.

Dean: Awesome, six degrees of heaven bacon. What do you want with me?

Michael: You really don’t know the answer to that?

Dean: You know I ain’t going to say yes, so why are you here. What do you want with me.

Michael: I just want you to understand what you and I have to do.

Dean: Oh I get it. You’ve got beef with your brother, well get some therapy pall. Don’t take it out on my planet!

Michael: You are wrong. Lucifer defied our father and he betrayed me, but still I don’t want this any more that you would want to kill Sam. You know my brother, I practically raised him. I took care of him in ways most people would never understand and I still love him. But I’m going to kill him, because it is right and I have to.

Dean: Oh because God says so.

Michael: Yes. From the beginning he knew this was how it was going to end.

Dean: And you are just gonna do whatever God says.

Michael: Yes, because I am a good son.

Dean: Trust me pall. Take it from someone who knows, that is a dead end street.

Michael: And you think you know better, than my father. The one unimportant little man. What makes you think you got to choose?

Dean: Because I need to believe that I can choose what I do with my unimportant little life.

Michael: You are wrong. You know how  I know? Think of a million random acts of change that let John and Mary be born, to meet, to fall in love, to have the two of you. Think of the million random choices that you make and yet that each and every one of them brings you closer to your destiny. Do you know why that is? Because it’s not random, it’s not chance, it’s a plan that’s playing itself out perfectly. Free will is an illusion Dean. That’s why you are going to say yes……

This is when I realized John and God are so much alike: John said something like that to Dean. If you can’t save Sam you have to hill him. This was in Season one! It also made me think (again) that Dean and Michael are so much alike. Michael raised Lucifer, Dean raised Sam in ways no one could understand and ever will. Their relationship with their brothers are so rare and complicated I don’t think anyone can relate or understand except those four. Or maybe six if you count Cain and Abel. I don’t know much about Cain and Abel, but I know Cain made a deal with Lucifer so save his brother, so his brother could go to heaven and his soul was meant for Hell. So did Dean, he sold his soul for Sam and went to Hell.

I was just thinking maybe this was Gods plan after all. Not the apocalypse but Dean taking on the Mark of Cain so Cain can finally rest in peace. I don’t know if Cain’s soul is meant for Hell, but I know he’s done with living and just wants to die. Cain and Abel were the first sons of God I believe (don’t shoot me if I’m wrong, I am not religious and I am not sure if I’m totally right, but correct me if I’m wrong I would like to know), than Abel was the first person to die and Cain is the first murderer. He did that to safe his brother (as we are told by Supernatural, which we all know can bent history a bit ;)).

Maybe everything that happened to Sam and Dean (the hunters verses the Men of Letters) is so Cain can be released of his sin, and go peacefully. The Men of Letters have knowledge that is more than 2000 years old, so there must be a solution for removing the Mark somewhere there. Now that finally the Hunters and the Men of Letters are getting along well (well not now, cause Sam and Dean are in a fight, but you know what I mean). Hunters know what it is like to have knowledge on their side and Men of Letters know what Hunters are going through so pairing up Mary and John was perfect. Cain can finally be set free, cause his own bloodline will be the only one to be worthy enough to kill him and take on the Mark. I also think that Dean being the righteous man might have something to do with it. Maybe all this righteousness has been part of him being the one to stop Lucifer, but also part of him being ready to cary the Mark of Cain. “The one who begins it is the only one who can finish it” Castiel said to Dean when he told him that Dean did break the first seal. Cain was righteous to sacrifice himself for his brother and so was Dean.

God put the Mark on Cain and if God knew how it’ll all must end he knew Dean would be the only one who could. Dean is already death inside (as famine tells him in My Bloody Valentine) and  it will have to take someone who can handle a lot to take on the Mark (Dean has been tortured for 30 years in Hell and he gave out the torture for about 10, so he knows evil).

That’s just a couple of my thoughts about the six of them.